1. I’ll make/bring food
2. Did you get your homework done?
I just don’t feel right asking you to go get food if you don’t have it done. School first.
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3. You don’t feel like you have a fever
Being the mom friend basically, means you’re a doctor. Need Advil? Got it! Need allergy meds? No worries! Need Gatorade? I have that too.
4. You might want a jacket.
5. Good luck today!
6. I have that!
This could refer to the 10 million things I keep in my Mary Poppins bag. Bobbi pins, Band-aids, a stapler, or anything else you may need.
7. We can take my car.
To make my mom’s status even more awesome, I should tell you I drive a mini-van.
8. You probably shouldn’t jump off of that.
9. Have you eaten today?
That’s probably why you’re grouchy.
10. What do you mean you don’t have insurance?
11. Well, what time did you go to bed?
You wouldn’t be tired if you went to bed before 3 AM.
12. Take a nap. You’ll feel better.
13. Don’t forget your keys!
They’re on the kitchen table.
14. Do you actually need that?
I’m just trying to keep you from spending money we both know you don’t have.
15. Because I said so.
16. Stop.
17. What’s wrong?
We moms are the best listeners.
18. Don’t touch that.
19. Don’t talk with your mouth full.
Maybe the most mom thing we say.
20. How was practice?
21. Yes, you can use my ironing board.
I also have interview questions, because let’s be honest that’s the only reason you’re ironing your clothes.
22. I’m going to the store, do you need anything?
To be clear, by store, I mean Target.
23. Don’t talk to strangers.
24. I can sew that button back on.
Just let me grab my needles and thread.
25. How are you and *whoever you’re talking to?
26. Yes, I have food.
Yes, always. Chances are if by some craziness I don’t, I’ll make some.
27. Drive safe! Let me know when you get there!
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