7. We can take my car.
To make my mom’s status even more awesome, I should tell you I drive a mini-van.
8. You probably shouldn’t jump off of that.
9. Have you eaten today?
That’s probably why you’re grouchy.
10. What do you mean you don’t have insurance?
11. Well, what time did you go to bed?
You wouldn’t be tired if you went to bed before 3 AM.
12. Take a nap. You’ll feel better.
13. Don’t forget your keys!
They’re on the kitchen table.
14. Do you actually need that?
I’m just trying to keep you from spending money we both know you don’t have.
15. Because I said so.
16. Stop.
17. What’s wrong?
We moms are the best listeners.
18. Don’t touch that.
19. Don’t talk with your mouth full.
Maybe the most mom thing we say.
20. How was practice?
21. Yes, you can use my ironing board.
I also have interview questions, because let’s be honest that’s the only reason you’re ironing your clothes.
22. I’m going to the store, do you need anything?
To be clear, by store, I mean Target.
23. Don’t talk to strangers.
24. I can sew that button back on.
Just let me grab my needles and thread.
25. How are you and *whoever you’re talking to?
26. Yes, I have food.
Yes, always. Chances are if by some craziness I don’t, I’ll make some.
27. Drive safe! Let me know when you get there!
