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Why when you meet your first love you end up coming back

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Why when you meet your first love you end up coming back
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Memory is treacherous and more when it comes to love matters. The survival instinct makes us tend to remember only the best of our

Memory is treacherous and more when it comes to love matters. The survival instinct makes us tend to remember only the best of our relationships and put aside what led us to leave someone or someone to leave us. Except for traumatic ruptures or relationships in which for a matter of business or children in common or simple affinity, they have continued to have contact with the ex, studies and experts affirm that in this matter of love the second parts are good.

That in those cases memory does not usually play tricks on us and that if in a low moment or after a complicated breakup or when things with our current partner are regular, one tends to think about that love from college or that relationship from the first maturity is not by chance. Sometimes, experience, time and life changes make a couple who did not work 15 years ago can become the love of our life, the real ones.

 

A California State University study, led by Dr. Nancy Kalish, has shown that couples who get back together five years after separating have a 76% chance of staying together, compared to a 40% survival rate a marriage between people who have not been together before. And, as derived from the study, the mythical “first love” business seems to work because 55% had sought out the partners they had had at 17 or earlier , while 29% had been inclined to seek their partner. better half from when they were around 20 years old.

 

Indeed, there are a number of hugely successful websites dedicated to finding friends from the past and, obviously, also loves from adolescence or youth. This can be done on Facebook or Twitter, but there are others more specific and accurate such as Reunion , Classmates  or Friendster .

 

The sentimental consequences of reunions

Mara González , 47, married for two to her first boyfriend, admits that she found him thanks to the internet. In his case, the medium was Facebook. “I had just separated and the truth is that at 44 I was beginning to realize that I did not have many options to find a partner again,” he explains. “On the other hand, my self-esteem was on the ground, my ex had left with someone else and the last stage of the relationship had been hell.

Suddenly I started to remember Jaime Ortega, who had been a classmate with whom I had been dating from the first year of BUP until I went to Granada to study and he stayed in Malaga. I asked some classmates from the institute with whom I still had contact and in the end I located him on Facebook.

The first thing I looked at was if he was married and didn’t put anything on his status, so I wrote to him. Like ‘hello how are you, I happened to find you’ (I had spent almost a month looking for him, but I wasn’t going to tell him). We saw each other and after two months we were living together. Suddenly it was as if no time had passed, we got on well together. And the truth is, the break was due to the distance, because of nonsense, we didn’t even remember why we had really broken up. We have been married for two years and I have never been so happy. “Couples who get back together five years after separating have a 76% chance of staying together

 

The psychoanalyst Martín Alonso ensures that this type of reunion ends up working due to factors that of course have to do with the conscious, but also with the unconscious. “Normally we create a pattern of attraction towards someone”, he explains, “which does have to do with what we have learned, with qualities or defects that we see in our parents… but what usually remains forever is that of the first or first loves . People evolve, they have other partners, but surely if we think of the first person we date or with whom we fell in love (because here we must also include unfinished stories, where one fell in love but was not reciprocated) there are a series of traits that are repeated. Physical and / or psychological ”, he explains.

 

It is not so strange, therefore, that when you begin to review your life, you think of that first person you loved. “In my office,” Alonso continues, “many clients come – in the case of women, when they are around 40, and in the case of men, 10 years later – who when it comes to finding a love they name the one first .

Not everyone has the courage to look for it or if they are looking for it maybe they are happily married or gay, this has happened to me on more than one occasion … but I can say that when everything is favorable, it is very rare that this reunion does not end in a relationship . Idealization is important to establish bases that are later more realistic. But there is a feeling of having found your better half ”.

 

Constant source of jealousy

 

Indeed, these reunions are not always with people with whom they have been a couple, sometimes it is a platonic love. Such is the case of Emilio Álamo , 57, who six years ago conquered that teenager, a friend of his sister, with whom he was in love when he was in college. “I was 20 years old and Elisa She must have been around 16. She was a friend of my little sister and she came home a lot.

Elisa has always been very mature for her age. I read, I was clear that I was going to be a writer and I was studying journalism and the truth is that among girls my age I did not find too many with her concerns. I was madly in love with her, and when we met again, she confessed that she was too, but since she was so shy it never occurred to her to show it.

We talked for years, even when I went to do a master’s degree in London, we wrote to each other, but she started dating a boy, then she got married, I got married too and since I went to live outside of Madrid we totally lost contact. At my sister’s wedding we met again,We both went with our respective couples, but it was seeing each other and feeling something very special . A year later we had separated and we started living together. I could not explain it, but the truth is that during all those years it had not been out of my head. And apparently neither do I. ”

 

Dr. Alonso brings an interesting point of view on this matter. “One piece of information that I think is relevant to understand this matter,” he says, “is that many of the jealousy problems that exist in couples have to do with those first loves. It is something that the person recognizes is irrational.

Most of the time they occur without the couple having contacted that person, but there is something that makes us be on our guard. Among other things, we ourselves know how we feel about the one who gave us the first kiss. Sometimes even with that jealousy, we make the other remember that person more and that is what leads him to look for it. The love of youth is always present, so in the life of a couple it is no exception ”.

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Love Island SPOILER: The singletons couple up as Maya Jama welcomes them to the villa

Love Island kicks off for a new series of Monday nights, with the new singletons coupling up into the first five pairs.

Fans will see the ten singletons move into the luxury villa in South Africa, with the boys seen arriving first.

New host Maya Jama gets stuck in, questioning the five hunks on their love lives, before telling them the girls will soon be making their entrance to pick which boy they want to couple up with.

 

Here we go! Love Island kicks off for a new series of Monday nights, with the new singletons coupling up into the first five pairs

Shaq and Haris arrive together, before welcoming Will, then Ron, then Kai to their sun-drenched new home.

Maya invites the boys to gather at the fire pit and quizzes them on what they’re looking for.

 

 

New host: Fans will see the ten singletons move into the luxury villa in South Africa, with the boys seen arriving first before new host Maya Jama makes her entrance

 

New host: Fans will see the ten singletons move into the luxury villa in South Africa, with the boys seen arriving first before new host Maya Jama makes her entrance

Maya asks: ‘Is everyone excited, be honest, how many press ups did we do this morning?’ Shaq answers: ‘I’d say at least 75.’

Maya asks: ‘Shaq, have you got a type?’ He says: ‘Not specifically, I go for more personality and vibes but she’s definitely got to be funny, funny is top of my list, I love it.’

Kai adds: ‘I am looking for a wifey,’ while Haris reveals: ‘I’ve never been in a relationship’

 

 

First arrivals: Shaq and Haris arrive together, before welcoming Will, then Ron, then Kai to their sun-drenched new home

 

First arrivals: Shaq and Haris arrive together, before welcoming Will, then Ron, then Kai to their sun-drenched new home

Ron says: ‘For me it’s all about if they are nice girl.’

Meanwhile farmer Will tells Maya: ‘I wanna settle down, I think it’s time to bring a girl back, introduce them to the animals.’

Maya then declares: ‘I think I’ve found out enough, are you lot ready to meet some girls?’

 

 

Inviting the boys to stand before her by the pool Maya then says: ‘Well boys, it is time to couple up, the girls will come in one by one and I’ll ask you to step forward if you fancy them.’

Grand entrance: As they're getting to know each other, Love Island's new host Maya Jama makes her entrance after an epic arrival by helicopter

 

Grand entrance: As they’re getting to know each other, Love Island’s new host Maya Jama makes her entrance after an epic arrival by helicopter

Getting the gossip: Maya invites the boys to gather at the fire pit and quizzes them on what they're looking for

 

Getting the gossip: Maya invites the boys to gather at the fire pit and quizzes them on what they’re looking for

Getting stuck in: Maya asks: 'Is everyone excited, be honest, how many press ups did we do this morning?'

 

Getting stuck in: Maya asks: ‘Is everyone excited, be honest, how many press ups did we do this morning?’

 

 

The big moment: Inviting the boys to stand before her by the pool Maya then says: 'Well boys, it is time to couple up

 

The big moment: Inviting the boys to stand before her by the pool Maya then says: ‘Well boys, it is time to couple up

‘Each girl will then decide which boy she wants to couple up with. It’s that simple. So who’s ready to meet our first girl?’

One by one Tanya, Anna-May, Lana, Olivia and Tanyel make their entrance into the Villa.

As the first coupling of the series gets underway, it’s time to see which boys the girls pick and whether they will step on each other’s toes to couple up with the boy they fancy the most.

Here come the girls: One by one Tanya, Anna-May, Lana, Olivia and Tanyel make their entrance into the Villa

 

As the first coupling of the series gets underway, it's time to see which boys the girls pick

 

Here come the girls: One by one Tanya, Anna-May, Lana, Olivia and Tanyel make their entrance into the Villa

Ready for love: 'Each girl will then decide which boy she wants to couple up with' Maya tells the ten new singletons

 

Ready for love: ‘Each girl will then decide which boy she wants to couple up with’ Maya tells the ten new singletons

Making an impression: The girls are dressed in their most sizzling bikinis for their first meeting with the boys

 

Making an impression: The girls are dressed in their most sizzling bikinis for their first meeting with the boys

It's getting hot out here: Lana and Tanya are seen deciding on which boy to pick

 

It's getting hot out here: Lana and Tanya are seen deciding on which boy to pick

 

It’s getting hot out here: Lana and Tanya are seen deciding on which boy to pick

 

 

Gorgeous: Michelle Keegan body double Olivia looks stunning in a hot pink bikini

 

Gorgeous: Michelle Keegan body double Olivia looks stunning in a hot pink bikini

Once the couples are formed, Maya says: ‘We now have five lovely couples but will you stay together or will your heads be turned?’

As Maya makes her exit from the Villa, she says: ‘Don’t forget finding your perfect match is never that simple, trust me I know.’

 

 

As night falls and the Islanders get to know each other a little better, it’s not long before news that the public have been voting for the first bombshell reaches the freshly formed couples.

On the lookout for love: The boys are tasked with stepping forward if they fancy a girl

 

As the first coupling of the series gets underway, it's time to see which boys the girls pick and whether they will step on each other's toes

 

On the lookout for love: The boys are tasked with stepping forward if they fancy a girl

Sun's out guns out: The boys strip down to shorts for their big moment in the first recoupling of the new series

 

Sun’s out guns out: The boys strip down to shorts for their big moment in the first recoupling of the new series

Take your pick: With five hunky singletons to choose from, the girls are spoilt for choice

 

Take your pick: With five hunky singletons to choose from, the girls are spoilt for choice

 

Take your pick: With five hunky singletons to choose from, the girls are spoilt for choice

 

 

Home sweet home: The Islanders will be calling this sprawling villa in South Africa home

 

Home sweet home: The Islanders will be calling this sprawling villa in South Africa home

 

LOVE ISLAND 2023: MEET THE CONTESTANTS

 

Tanya Manhenga

Name: Tanya Manhenga

 

 

Age: 22

Location: Liverpool

Occupation: Student and model

Something not many people know about her: ‘I have Vitiligo, which is a skin pigmentation, you may not even notice it.’

 

 

‘It’s on my lip and I have a stripe on my hair. Not many people know that but I think it’s quite cute.’

‘I don’t care about covering it up all the time, I think it’s a vibe.’

 

Lana Jenkins

Name: Lana Jenkins

 

 

Age: 25

Location: Luton

Occupation: Makeup artist

Something not many people know about her: ‘In my work as a makeup artist I’ve worked with lots of celebrities.

 

 

‘Also, when I was 6-years-old I used to live in Spain and I was in an episode of Benidorm as an extra.’

Anna-May Robey

 

Anna-May Robey

Name: Anna-May Robey

Age: 20

Location: Swansea

Occupation: Payroll assistant

Something not many people know about her: ‘I went on a date once and I never saw him again.’

‘We went for food and shared a bottle of wine. As I was speaking to him he fell asleep!’

‘I had to clink his wine glass to wake him up.’

Tanyel Revan

 

Tanyel Revan

Name: Tanyel Revan

Age: 26

 Location: North London

Occupation: Hair stylist

Something not many people know about her: ‘My celebrity crush is Channing Tatum – I don’t like pretty boys, they give me the ‘ick’ because they always have a crap personality.’

‘Channing Tatum is handsome but not too pretty. He’s manly and he can dance.’

‘If a man can dance I’m in love with him straight away.’

Olivia Hawkins

 

Olivia Hawkins

Name: Olivia Hawkins

Age: 27

 Location: Brighton

Occupation: Ring girl and actress

Something not many people know about her: ‘I did a film with Jason Statham and had a nice 10-minute convo about life.’

‘I’ve been a ring girl for KSI, I played a waitress in James Bond with Daniel Craig and I’ve also been a body double for Michelle Keegan and Emma Watson.’

 

Kai Fagan

 Name: Kai Fagan

Age: 24

Location: Manchester

Occupation: Science and PE teacher

Something not many people know about him: ‘I’m a Jamaican citizen. Because of that I played rugby 7s for Jamaica.’

‘I play semi-professional rugby now for Burnage RFC.’

‘I’ve technically got three different degrees and went to three different unis.’

Ron Hall

 

Ron Hall

 Name: Ron Hall

Age: 25

Location: Essex

Occupation: Financial advisor

Something not many people know about him: ‘On meeting me, you’d never know I am blind in one eye.’

‘It was the result of a football injury when I was 8. I’ve got two different coloured eyes, one blue and one green.’

Will Young

 

Will Young

 Name: Will Young

Age: 23

Location: Buckinghamshire

Occupation: Farmer

Something not many people know about him: ‘Every night I light a candle and meditate for 20-25 minutes.’

‘A girl I was seeing told me to meditate, I tried it and loved it. I stopped seeing her and carried on meditating!

‘It’s a nice way to self reflect.’

Shaq Muhammad

 

Shaq Muhammad

Name: Shaq Muhammad

Age: 24

 Location: London

Occupation: Airport security officer

Something not many people know about her: ‘I’m a very emotional person. It can be a blessing and a curse.’

‘Every time I watch Dear John I cry.

That’s my favourite film. Any time I’m with someone and they say, ‘Let’s watch a romantic film’, I’m like, ‘How about Dear John, how does that sound?’

Haris Namani

 

Haris Namani

Name: Haris Namani

Age: 21

 Location: Doncaster

Occupation: TV salesman

Something not many people know about her: ‘I’ve never found love. I think this is the show that can help me.’

‘It’s the best opportunity for me to find the girl and find the right one. I’ve obviously not found the right one myself.’

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Victoria Beckham showcases her lithe figure in pale pink ruffled gown from her summer collection

She’s famous for her incredible sense of style.

And Victoria Beckham has treated her fans to a peek at the newest collection from her high-end fashion brand.

The fashion designer, 48, flaunted her incredible figure in a flowing gown decorated in diagonal ruffles.

 

Looking good: Victoria Beckham has treated her fans to a peek at the newest collection from her high-end fashion brand

The pale pink dress boasted spaghetti straps and a long ruffled train that reached the floor.

Victoria took to Instagram on Monday to share two mirror selfies of herself modelling the outfit.

In the caption she teased: ‘Monday morning fitting. New Summer collection for a special occasion x #VBSS23 coming soon!! VB’.

It comes after Victoria cut the prices of hundreds of clothing items in a huge sale amid the reported financial trouble of her company after it reportedly racked up a total of £66.3million of debt since its launch.

Dazzling:  The fashion designer, 48, flaunted her incredible figure in a flowing gown decorated in diagonal ruffles

 

Dazzling:  The fashion designer, 48, flaunted her incredible figure in a flowing gown decorated in diagonal ruffles

On her website it says: ‘Explore the VB sale with up to 60 per cent off key styles’.

Items including sunglasses, coats, gym wear and dresses are included in the offers online.

For example a green dress in the sale section is down 40 per cent from £990 to £594 while a camel coat is also 40 per cent reduced £1,590 to £954.

Sneak peek: In the caption she teased: 'Monday morning fitting. New Summer collection for a special occasion x #VBSS23 coming soon!! VB'

 

Sneak peek: In the caption she teased: ‘Monday morning fitting. New Summer collection for a special occasion x #VBSS23 coming soon!! VB’

A representative for Victoria has been contacted by MailOnline for comment.

It comes after earlier this week it was revealed that the company reportedly has racked up a total of £66.3million of debt since its launch.

The fashion designer launched her fashion label in 2008 with a small collection of dresses. It swiftly grew to an extensive range that now includes handbags, coats, shoes and accessories.

Store: The fashion designer launched her fashion label in 2008 with a small collection of dresses. It swiftly grew to an extensive range that now includes handbags, coats, shoes and accessories

 

Store: The fashion designer launched her fashion label in 2008 with a small collection of dresses. It swiftly grew to an extensive range that now includes handbags, coats, shoes and accessories

According to The Mirror, the latest accounts for Victoria Beckham Holdings Ltd show it made losses of £5,887,036 in 2021, down from £8,581,944 in 2020.

This means overall losses for the firm now stand at £66.3m since its launch in 2008 and directors of the firm – including Victoria and her husband David – were not paid a dividend.

The study says: ‘The loss for the year, after taxation and minority interests, amounted to £5,887,036 (2020 – loss of £8,581,944

Power couple: Despite the big losses, the Beckham¿s global empire has reportedly doubled its profits - racking in £11.6 million in 2020

 

Power couple: Despite the big losses, the Beckham’s global empire has reportedly doubled its profits – racking in £11.6 million in 2020

‘During the 2021 financial year the ultimate shareholders provided additional loans of £0.6m to the group.’

The luxury fashion business has expanded to Europe and the Middle East, with the annual accounts saying the brand was also expanding into new products, with the launch of leather goods and the VB Body range.

A company spokesperson told MailOnline: ‘The shareholders continue to support and invest in the business for growth. The balance sheet is good, there is no bank debt.’

CEO, Marie Leblanc added: ‘2021 saw the successful repositioning of Victoria Beckham Limited and 2022 is set to be an even stronger year.

‘We have entered a new chapter for the business and our energy is focused on accelerating growth and taking the brand to its full potential.

‘With the successful launch of leather goods in 2022 and the continuous acceleration of sales growth in Beauty, we have high expectations.’

Despite the big losses, the Beckham’s global empire has reportedly doubled its profits. Annual accounts filed with Companies House in London showed the pair made £11.6m in the year ending December 2020 despite the pandemic – compared to £4.5m in 2019.

In accounts submitted in 2021, auditors warned of ‘significant doubt’ about Victoria’s fashion company’s ability to continue operating when it was reported that the company had racked up debts of more than £46 million since it launched.

Friends of the star said at the time that she is determined to continue with her company even though her detractors have dismissed it as a vanity project.

One said: ‘This is what gives Victoria her identity, she loves it and despite its obvious obstacles, she is a grafter and hugely passionate about it.’

In February 2021, it emerged that Mrs Beckham’s beauty range she set up in 2019 had suffered a loss of £4.7 million.

A spokeswoman for Mrs Beckham said: ‘Whilst 2019 was a challenging year, the business halved its losses – a significant step in the road to profitability. The launch of the hugely successful beauty line in the same year helped drive overall revenues up 7% on 2018 and both businesses are focussed on profitable growth.

‘The showcase of the recent AW21 fashion collection has been well-received by fashion critics and the beauty business has seen multiple sell-out products in recent months.’

A company spokesperson told MailOnline: 'The shareholders continue to support and invest in the business for growth. The balance sheet is good, there is no bank debt'

 

A company spokesperson told MailOnline: ‘The shareholders continue to support and invest in the business for growth. The balance sheet is good, there is no bank debt’

  More Read                     expressdigest

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