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What to do if my partner does not speak to me
Dialogue is one of the keys to communication in a relationship. However, emotional responses can be varied in different situations. For example, it may happen that you have initiative and willingness to talk with your partner, while your partner responds with his silence. This form of action responds to a scheme that shows a type of manipulation and blackmail that hurts.
Whoever acts in this way falls into the trap of believing that he is absolutely right for the situation. They position themselves in silence, in the absence of words, from the wrong perspective of thinking that the other person can interpret and deduce exactly what they want and what they need. ” What to do if my partner does not speak to me? ” If you have asked yourself this question more than once, in Psicologia-Online we help you find the answer.
Why does my partner get angry and stop talking to me
In consultation it is common to hear phrases such as “my boyfriend does not speak to me”, “my partner does not speak to me”, “he is angry and he does not speak to me”, “my girlfriend does not speak to me”, “why does he not speak to me ? “,” my partner ignores me “,” my boyfriend is angry with me and does not speak to me “, etc. Some people take silence as a reaction to anger and that confuses and annoys their partners.
It is appropriate for each person to establish their strategies to manage their emotions . Some people, after an argument or anger, need a quiet or calm time to relax and continue the conversation at another time. If you haven’t talked to your partner for days, it’s the right thing or the best for the relationship. The lack of communication prevents the resolution of the couple conflict from taking place and worsens the situation.
Why don’t you talk to me
If your partner has stopped talking to you and you don’t know the reason for his attitude, it is normal for you to ask yourself: Why isn’t he talking to me? Below we will explain why your partner behaves in this way.
Through silence he becomes defensive. But, in addition, it also avoids facing the problem in an adult way . When your partner chooses silence, he leaves you alone before that fact and closes the door of any collaboration since when you ask him questions he does not respond.
This situation inevitably hurts and is even more uncomfortable when both have already taken the step of living together . Then, silence becomes a tool to hurt the other in the different encounters of the day.
The psychological game of confusion is latent since, it can even happen that you ask him if he is angry and, nevertheless, he denies it with a categorical “no”. A monosyllable that continues in the line of that silence freely adopted from immaturity .
The risk of this type of behavior is that the person does not express what happens to him, while the partner also ignores this fact. In this way, from the same event, each one has totally different readings. And if these interpretations are not shared, there is a lack of understanding .
What to do when your partner does not speak
What to do when your partner ignores you? If your partner doesn’t talk to you, don’t give in to blackmail. How can you act if you experience a situation of these characteristics? Here’s what to do when your partner doesn’t speak:
1. Complacency is not the solution
This type of situation generates so much discomfort that the person who lives with the indifference of his partner can adopt the attitude of complacency as a means to end the distancing. The risk of this response is that when a couple repeats this pattern of behavior, it does not solve the real conflict .
The desire to please your partner leads you to prioritize their needs while ignoring yours. This type of emotional sacrifice produces an unequal effect in the relationship because by acting in this way, you reinforce your partner instead of correcting their attitude. It is best to let him know that this behavior is not appropriate through assertive communication .
2. Don’t be conditioned by guilt
In a situation of this type, it is important that you see what happened in perspective so as not to allow yourself to be contaminated on an emotional level by the feeling of guilt that you may experience. Wait for your partner to change his attitude to talk calmly about what happened. You can assertively express that when he wants to talk about what happened, you will be happy to do so.
3. Be patient
What to do when your partner does not speak? Do not enter the psychological dynamics of begging for forgiveness because if you are at that point, each one has to do their part to correct mistakes. Be patient and wait until your partner shows a new attitude. What exactly does it mean to be patient? Continue with your life , continue with the normality of your routine. That is, keep taking care of other aspects and issues of your existence that are also important to you and demand your attention.
Then it is a good time to talk not only about what happened, but also about their behavior and how it has made you feel . You can give concrete examples focused on describing external events instead of taking the assessments to the personal level.
4. State your conclusions
This situation can help you reflect on your positive expectations in the relationship. In that case, you can openly state what your limits and your needs are. For example, your partner deserves respect, but you deserve it too.
If this situation of silence in the conflict is repeated frequently and your partner shows a different attitude when he regrets, the help of a professional may be necessary to improve communication between the two . However, by itself, this dynamic does not lead to empathy but to distance because the resentment that is generated between the two is increasing.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
Ody Team is a qualified social media expert at Coding The Line, London. He had graduated from the University of Cambridge
Medusa was one of the scariest creatures that Greek mythology created. Her name in Ancient Greek means “guardian, protectress”. She was a monster, a Gorgon, generally described as a winged human female with living venomous snakes in place of hair. Her superpower was simple – gazers upon her face would turn to stone.
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In a late version of the Medusa myth, related by the Roman poet Ovid, Medusa was originally a ravishingly beautiful maiden, “the jealous aspiration of many suitors,” but because Poseidon had raped her in Athena’s temple, the enraged Athena transformed Medusa’s beautiful hair to serpents and made her face so terrible to behold that the mere sight of it would turn onlookers to stone. In Ovid’s telling, Perseus describes Medusa’s punishment by Minerva (Athena) as just and well earned.
In most versions of the story, she was beheaded by the hero Perseus, who was sent to fetch her head by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry his mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, gold, winged sandals from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades’ helm of invisibility. Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus was able to slay her while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon. When Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, a winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body.
Also in more modern art, the subject of Medusa’s head became quite popular. Here are the five most famous paintings depicting Medusa.
1. Caravaggio, Medusa-Murtola
Caravaggio painted two versions of Medusa, the first in 1596 and the other around 1597. About the first version, the 17th-century poet Gaspare Murtola wrote:
Flee, for if your eyes are petrified in amazement, she will turn you to stone.
This work is privately owned, signed, and now known as Murtola.
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2. Caravaggio, Medusa
The second version, shown here, is slightly bigger (60×55 cm) and is not signed though often dated 1597.
3. Peter Paul Rubens, Head of Medusa
Peter Paul Rubens’ contemporaries saw in the Medusa more than a horrifying creature. It was interpreted both as a triumph of stoic reason over the foes of virtue and as the possibility of controlling passions and exercising stoical equanimity through implacable realism. The snakes were likely executed by a specialist, Frans Snyders, but the idea was Rubens’. Whilst the comportment of the two intertwined animals to the right was likely drawn from contemporary emblems, their zoologically accurate rendering is based on Rubens’ own close study of nature. For some examples, such as the winding snake in the right foreground, Rubens probably also used casts made from nature, which were particularly popular in northern Italy.
4. Arnold Böcklin, Medusa
It’s hard to tell anything about this Medusa painting other than what you see. So maybe it’s a good time to say what Sigmund Freud in his Das Medusenhaupt (Medusa’s Head) thought of her. In Freud’s interpretation:
To decapitate = to castrate. The terror of Medusa is thus a terror of castration that is linked to the sight of something. Numerous analyses have made us familiar with the occasion for this: it occurs when a boy, who has hitherto been unwilling to believe the threat of castration, catches sight of the female genitals, probably those of an adult, surrounded by hair, and essentially those of his mother.
Sigmund Freud, Das Medusenhaupt (Medusa’s Head).
In this perspective, the “ravishingly beautiful” Medusa is the mother remembered in innocence; before the mythic truth of castration dawns on the subject. Classic Medusa, in contrast, is an Oedipal or libidinous symptom. Looking at the forbidden mother stiffens the subject in illicit desire and freezes him in terror of the Father’s retribution. I know, it’s complicated.
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5. Medusa
In 1782, Leonardo da Vinci’s biographer Luigi Lanzi discovered a depiction of Medusa’s head which he erroneously attributed to Leonardo, based on a description of Leonardo’s painting done by Giorgio Vasari. In the 20th century, Bernard Berenson and other leading critics argued against Leonardo’s authorship of the Uffizi painting. It is now believed to be a work of an anonymous Flemish painter, active ca. 1600.
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One of the greatest masterpieces of Western art, Lady with an Ermine by Leonardo da Vinci, presents Cecilia Gallerani (ca. 1473-1536). Young, beautiful and talented, especially in the areas of music and literature, she entered the Court of Milan and wrote poetry, unfortunately unknown today. She was the light of the Italian language. Her contemporaries compared her to famous women in antiquity, she was even called a new Sappho. All of this attracted Ludovico Sforza, the Duke of Milan, to Cecilia Gallerani.
The famous white ermine is actually a reference to Ludovico, who was decorated with the Neapolitan Order of the Ermine in 1488 by Ferdinand I, King of Naples, hence, he was also referred to as the White Ermine (Ermellino Bianco). Ludovico and Cecilia became lovers, but to fulfill some political responsibilities, he married Beatrice d’Este in January 1491. In May of that year, Cecilia gave birth to his son, Caesar. Constrained by his wife, he asked Cecilia to leave the Court and, richly endowed, married her off to Lodovico Carminati de Brambilla, Count Bergamini. It is believed that when she left she took the portrait with her. This is evidenced by a letter addressed to her by Isabella d’Este, the Marchioness of Mantua, in 1498, requesting that it be loaned.
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After Cecilia’s death, the portrait disappeared for several centuries before it resurfaced in Poland in 1800. For years, it was erroneously considered to be the likeness of the so-called “Belle Ferronière”, a reputed mistress of King Francis I. This is evidenced by the inscription LA BELE FERONIERE / LEONARD D’AWINCI in the upper left corner alongside the artist’s surname, which is spelled in the Polish manner. However, considering Polish history in the 20th century, it is amazing that the painting actually survived. Tugged back-and-forth between Poland and Germany during the occupation of Poland, The Lady miraculously survived World War II (unlike Raphael’s famous Portrait of a Young Man). In 1939, after the Nazi invasion of Poland, an SS soldier’s footprint was found on it. Now, The Lady is safe in the Czartoryski Museum in Cracow.
The Lady with an Ermine has been heavily overpainted. Unfortunately, the original background was probably overlaid in the 17th century. Also, Cecilia’s dress below the ermine was retouched and a transparent veil worn by the woman was repainted to match the color of her hair. The result of this last retouching was to give the appearance that her hair reaches down and underneath her chin. An X-ray of this painting also reveals the presence of a door in the original background.
The Lady has another secret. French scientist Pascal Cotte spent three years on an investigation which in 2014 revealed that Leonardo actually painted the work not just in one, but in three clearly differentiated stages. His first version was a simple portrait, with no animal. In the second attempt, the painter included a small grey ermine. In the third and final stage, the animal was transformed into a large white ermine.
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Liberty Leading the People is probably the best-known artwork of one of the greatest artists of French Romanticism Eugène Delacroix. The painting, which has become an icon, has already served as inspiration for much, from banknotes to a cover of a Coldplay album.
A Liberty Story
Liberty Leading the People is a painting usually associated with the July Revolution of 1830 in France. It is a large canvas showing a busty woman in the center raising a flag and holding a bayonet. She is barefoot, and walks over the bodies of the defeated, guiding a crowd around her. This is probably the most famous artwork of Eugène Delacroix, who is known as the most important artist of Romanticism.
Eugène Delacroix was a master of color and it is in Liberty Leading the People that he clearly expressed this. Carefully, Delacroix built a pulsating and dynamic scenario about an extremely current theme in his times. As he participated little in the fighting, he wrote: “If I can not fight for my country, I paint for it.”
The painting is about freedom and revolution. First, because that is exactly what it portrays. In July 1830, France rose up against King Charles X, who was extremely unpopular for, among other things, being very conservative in political terms and trying to restore an old regime that French people no longer wanted. In the artistic sense, the painting also represented a revolution – and more than that: freedom. In the time of Delacroix, painters generally obeyed the rules of the Academy of Fine Arts which stressed the mastery of drawing, disegno. Delacroix, however, put more emphasis on the use of color in an unobstructed way.
A year after its production, the painting was bought by the French Government and but was not on display for a long time. Currently, the artwork is part of the Louvre collection.
Liberty Characters
Okay, you already know that the woman in the center is Liberty. But what about the characters around her? Well, Delacroix had an illuminist formation and believed that ideals like freedom and fraternity were fundamental to building a better society. Because of this, he portrayed several social strata in this painting. On the left, he shows a simple worker alongside a bourgeois intellectual (who would be the artist himself) and on the right side a boy, symbolizing the strength of youth.
The defeated enemies on the ground and the smoke give the air that the battle is really coming to an end and that from then on freedom can take the citizens of France to a better future.
Marianne, the Allegorical Muse
The title makes it obvious, the woman represented here is the ideal of freedom. But even as an allegorical figure, the woman is more than that: her name is Marianne, which is probably the result of joining together two very common names in France at the time, Marie and Anne.
Curiously, 18 years after the July Revolution, Marie Anne Hubertine, a French activist who fought for the insertion of women in politics, was born. This is because, although the representation of freedom was feminine, women still couldn’t vote or stand for public office – although the female figure was always chosen to represent most of the allegories…
Even today there are references made to this painting: in Brazil where I live, the painting inspired the face on our currency, and it is found also in several other countries. Her face represents the republic.
And more: in 2008, the painting was chosen as an album cover for Viva La Vida by music band Coldplay!
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In addition to the cover, the rock band also produced an alternative clip for the title song where the lead singer represents a king (maybe Charles X?) and he sings “I used to rule the world, I would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own” while we see the picture of Delacroix all the time. It seems that the Romantic painting and the dream of the French artist still can inspire us even today.
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