Dialogue is one of the keys to communication in a relationship. However, emotional responses can be varied in different situations. For example, it may happen that you have initiative and willingness to talk with your partner, while your partner responds with his silence. This form of action responds to a scheme that shows a type of manipulation and blackmail that hurts.
Whoever acts in this way falls into the trap of believing that he is absolutely right for the situation. They position themselves in silence, in the absence of words, from the wrong perspective of thinking that the other person can interpret and deduce exactly what they want and what they need. ” What to do if my partner does not speak to me? ” If you have asked yourself this question more than once, in Psicologia-Online we help you find the answer.
Why does my partner get angry and stop talking to me
In consultation it is common to hear phrases such as “my boyfriend does not speak to me”, “my partner does not speak to me”, “he is angry and he does not speak to me”, “my girlfriend does not speak to me”, “why does he not speak to me ? “,” my partner ignores me “,” my boyfriend is angry with me and does not speak to me “, etc. Some people take silence as a reaction to anger and that confuses and annoys their partners.
It is appropriate for each person to establish their strategies to manage their emotions . Some people, after an argument or anger, need a quiet or calm time to relax and continue the conversation at another time. If you haven’t talked to your partner for days, it’s the right thing or the best for the relationship. The lack of communication prevents the resolution of the couple conflict from taking place and worsens the situation.
Why don’t you talk to me
If your partner has stopped talking to you and you don’t know the reason for his attitude, it is normal for you to ask yourself: Why isn’t he talking to me? Below we will explain why your partner behaves in this way.
Through silence he becomes defensive. But, in addition, it also avoids facing the problem in an adult way . When your partner chooses silence, he leaves you alone before that fact and closes the door of any collaboration since when you ask him questions he does not respond.
This situation inevitably hurts and is even more uncomfortable when both have already taken the step of living together . Then, silence becomes a tool to hurt the other in the different encounters of the day.
The psychological game of confusion is latent since, it can even happen that you ask him if he is angry and, nevertheless, he denies it with a categorical “no”. A monosyllable that continues in the line of that silence freely adopted from immaturity .
The risk of this type of behavior is that the person does not express what happens to him, while the partner also ignores this fact. In this way, from the same event, each one has totally different readings. And if these interpretations are not shared, there is a lack of understanding .
What to do when your partner does not speak
What to do when your partner ignores you? If your partner doesn’t talk to you, don’t give in to blackmail. How can you act if you experience a situation of these characteristics? Here’s what to do when your partner doesn’t speak:
1. Complacency is not the solution
This type of situation generates so much discomfort that the person who lives with the indifference of his partner can adopt the attitude of complacency as a means to end the distancing. The risk of this response is that when a couple repeats this pattern of behavior, it does not solve the real conflict .
The desire to please your partner leads you to prioritize their needs while ignoring yours. This type of emotional sacrifice produces an unequal effect in the relationship because by acting in this way, you reinforce your partner instead of correcting their attitude. It is best to let him know that this behavior is not appropriate through assertive communication .
2. Don’t be conditioned by guilt
In a situation of this type, it is important that you see what happened in perspective so as not to allow yourself to be contaminated on an emotional level by the feeling of guilt that you may experience. Wait for your partner to change his attitude to talk calmly about what happened. You can assertively express that when he wants to talk about what happened, you will be happy to do so.
3. Be patient
What to do when your partner does not speak? Do not enter the psychological dynamics of begging for forgiveness because if you are at that point, each one has to do their part to correct mistakes. Be patient and wait until your partner shows a new attitude. What exactly does it mean to be patient? Continue with your life , continue with the normality of your routine. That is, keep taking care of other aspects and issues of your existence that are also important to you and demand your attention.
Then it is a good time to talk not only about what happened, but also about their behavior and how it has made you feel . You can give concrete examples focused on describing external events instead of taking the assessments to the personal level.
4. State your conclusions
This situation can help you reflect on your positive expectations in the relationship. In that case, you can openly state what your limits and your needs are. For example, your partner deserves respect, but you deserve it too.
If this situation of silence in the conflict is repeated frequently and your partner shows a different attitude when he regrets, the help of a professional may be necessary to improve communication between the two . However, by itself, this dynamic does not lead to empathy but to distance because the resentment that is generated between the two is increasing.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.