My partner does not love me but is still with me: why and what to do

My partner does not love me but is still with me
My partner does not love me but is still with me
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When love ends in a relationship and you feel that there is nothing left to do, that the relationship is at a standstill with difficulties moving forward, the most logical option would be to follow your path separately. Even so, on different occasions this can happen only by one part of the couple and that this is not able to put an end to the relationship. It is then that the other person feels that his partner is no longer as before, but does not understand why he is still by his side. This may be generating a period of doubts, conflicts and insecurities in you, which go through altering your emotional balance. From Psychology-Online we want to explain what may be happening if your partner does not love you but is still with you and what to do .

You may also be interested in: What to do if my partner does not speak to me

Signs that your partner doesn’t love you

How do you know that your partner does not love you? Could it be that I love you but don’t know how to show it? Could it be that you are having a bad streak? All of these questions are normal. To help you answer them, here are 6 clear signs that your partner does not love you:

Lack of communication

The basis of a good relationship is communication. Being able to express what you feel, how you feel or simply how your day has gone, your concerns, etc., is what builds the couple and what allows an approximation. You feel that you currently do not have that communication space with your partner, he or she is never receptive to listen to you and to explain anything to you.

Constant conflicts

It seems that your partner does not know how to end the relationship and looks for any small things to trigger a conflict. Things that he hadn’t even noticed before and that you’ve been doing the same throughout your relationship now pose a problem for him. In addition, we all know that conflicts can be opportunities to express and change things that we do not like, even so, you feel that current conflicts are not very productive, they are simply constant complaints about things that lead to a standstill with no possibility of solution, they are conflicts empty. Here we talk about what to do when your partner always blames you for everything .


Lack of communication – mentioned above – can lead to distancing. You feel that your partner could currently pass for a piece of furniture in your house, there is very little interaction between the two. The only thing that makes you think you have a partner is like the piece of furniture that is there but does nothing.

Decreased confidence

The lack of love, unfortunately, also means a decrease in trust. Seeing that the other person distances himself from you without any apparent explanation leads to distrust of the partner.

Lack of intimate moments

Lately, you do not stop looking for rapprochement with your partner – these are also a way to know if your partner is still available to you – but, each time you have tried, they have made different excuses to avoid it at all costs. It may happen that when someone does not feel the same for that person, intimate moments are a source of guilt if they are carried out, since it is a special moment for the couple and now one of the two is in a very different point.

Excess of plans

You feel that your partner no longer sets foot in the house, that at the least he can, he runs away from there or does not go through it. Not only does he spend the day making plans but, in addition, he does not take you into account in any of them, thus indicating that you are no longer a priority and that he now has others. There are people who are avoidant and, as long as they do not face the truth that lurks, they decide to use other strategies that indicate that it is no longer available, such as excess plans.

Why doesn’t it leave you?

These signs may occur and you see clearly that there is no love, but that the person does not take the final step of breaking the relationship. In this case, it is very normal for you to think “if he doesn’t love me, why won’t he let me?” Next we will see the reasons why it may be that a person who does not love you does not let you go:

Fear to loneliness

This can be one of the main reasons to keep clinging to a partner when love is over: the fear of being alone. There are people who are terrified of the idea of ​​being alone, so they do not want to leave their partner.

Comfort zone

The person sees that the relationship, despite the flame having gone out, that it is monotonous and that you cannot break a routine that does not make you happy, it is a comfortable relationship, where the person does not have to make many efforts and brings comfort and stability That can be a reason to stay anchored in her and not want to let go, despite not having the same feelings anymore.


Perhaps living with you is very easy, you complement each other well when it comes to doing housework, organizing it and everything that living together entails. That gives the other person a stability that makes them think that, even though they do not feel the same, they will not find someone like you for coexistence. The problem is that you have become more of a roommate than your partner.

Fear of what they will say

Perhaps as a couple you get along very well with your environment, that can be a determining factor when making the decision to end the relationship. The fear that the environment may judge the decision made can slow down the fact of carrying it out.

Fear of hurting you

Obviously, despite the fact that love may have ended, your partner has loved you and knows that right now you are not at the same point, since he or she would put an end to yours, but he knows that you are not and that that is going to hurt you. This can make them not feel like saying goodbye to you.

What to do when your partner does not love you but is still with you?

When you find yourself in this situation, you can:

Talk to the couple

As stated above, the foundation of a relationship is communication. Before making any decision, you can try to talk to your partner and ask him to be honest about your relationship. You can start with phrases like: “I would like to talk to you, lately I notice you more distant and that hurts me because I don’t know what may be happening and it would be good for me to talk about it, I would appreciate it if you would find a moment for me.”

Value you

Ask yourself if you deserve someone like that by your side, someone who is not able to show you that they no longer feel the same for you and in the end is conditioning your life with their non-action. You deserve someone who is sincere with you and is capable of facing the truth when they have already detected that you notice it. Valuing yourself is the first step to get out of places where you are not well liked. Here you will find information on how to work your self-esteem .

Take decisions

You detect that you can continue in this situation for a long time, since your partner will be unable to make the decision . Arm yourself with courage, put the cards on the table and end that relationship that you have already seen that is not going anywhere. You deserve someone who wants you by your side and who is able to face reality. Here we explain how to leave your partner without hurting you step by step and tips to face the breakup.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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Ody Team
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By Ody Team

Ody Team is a qualified social media expert at Coding The Line, London. He had graduated from the University of Cambridge

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