Look For This One Key Quality In Your Relationships ​
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Look For This One Key Quality In Your Relationships ​

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What makes a person stand above the rest? Read on to find one of the greatest qualities in a person that makes a person shine brighter than the rest.

This is an article response to ” 8 Ways To Be A Good Person, Even When You Really Don’t Want To Be.”

Being a good person can be difficult, we are thrown a lot in life that challenges us to make the best decisions possible and act in a way that supports our morals. There are a lot of qualities that make a person, “good” but there is one specific quality that goes above and beyond. This quality is the art of listening and asking questions.

 

Whether it is a friendship, romantic relationship, or family tie, look for the key quality of listening and asking questions. In this world, we are self-sabotaged by our phones. It does not require a lot of effort and we can easily access hundreds of pictures, texts, and other media footage in a matter of minutes. We are overly stimulated and overly anxious. We have short attention spans and ears that lack the true hearing of words. Words slide through our ears and exit like the wind, quick and there for a moment, easily forgotten. It takes a lot to actively listen. One could say it is even a workout. To fully understand what is being processed requires an ear and active listening. When we actively listen, this naturally allows us to ask better questions with more insight.

 

Asking the right questions is important. Questions can dictate how the conversation will flow, the connection between two people, the comfortability of the conversation, and much more. The more I seem to pay attention and ask the right questions, the better the conversation for both parties. I love seeing the reaction of the person when I ask questions and genuinely want to know what they have to say. Their eyes get a little bigger, and they perk up a little more. I think most people are refreshed when I ask diverse questions and ones that challenge the ordinary way of thinking. Instead of the usual response of “yeah” or “that’s cool” think of something different. It can be challenging to think of a different response, but the more you do it, the better and easier it gets.

 

When a person sees you care, they naturally will trust you more and open up. There is a gift to listening. It takes time, understanding, and not being in a rush to speak as soon as the other person finishes talking. They take a moment and think about what was just said. We are in such a rush to get words out, but there can be beauty in a few moments of silence to reset the brain and give a thoughtful rest to the conversation.

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I Won’t Stop Mothering You

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April 17, 2023

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A letter to all my friends that referred to me as Mom.

Dear Friends,

Remember how you all used to jokingly refer to me as the mom? Even going so far as to calling me Mama Marissa? Well, I just want to remind you that even though we’re miles apart now, I won’t stop mothering you.

Come to me even if we haven’t talked in a while and I’ll welcome you just as the prodigal son was welcomed. Don’t be worried that we haven’t talked in a while. I understand that sometimes life gets in the way and communication gets lost.

I’ll remind you now that you can come to me if you’re upset. I may have that sixth sense that seems to tell me when you need me, but I might not always act on it because I don’t want to be clingy. After all, even mothers need you to come to them sometimes. So come to me when you’re upset and I’ll try to make things better. I might not always have the answer, but I can try to help.

 

I’ll give you hints on how to be a better person. I’ll turn my volume on just for you, so if you call or text me in the middle of the night I’ll be sure to pick up. I’ll talk to you about your break-up for hours and remind you that you are queen and you deserve more. I’ll remind you that you need to eat properly and get enough sleep. That it’s okay if you need to take care of yourself and forget about everyone else for a while.

No matter what, I’ll still be there to help you pick up the pieces when it seems everything is falling apart. I’ll hold your hand through text messages and phone calls when you have a big test coming up, you fought with your parents or you just need someone to hold your hand for a while. Because I understand, sometimes all we need is for someone to hold our hand and say everything is going to turn out okay.

If all else fails I’ll remind you how much I love you, how beautiful you are, what a wonderful person you and most importantly, I’ll remind you everything is going to be okay. But in case you don’t want to bother me (you’re never bothering me), repeat after me: I am strong, I am wanted, I am valuable, I am loved, I can and will get through this.

Oh my darling “children,” just remember I’ll always be there for you. If you’re lucky I’ll bring some chocolate or my homemade cookies.

Love,

Mama Marissa

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Dear Los Angeles…With Love,

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After packing two oversized suitcases and two carryons with all the boho chic clothes I thought I needed to travel across the country for my dream internship, I quickly realized that although I may look like I belong out in the entertainment capital of the world there was a lot more to it than Free People dresses and fanny packs.

Ever since I was younger I dreamed of moving out to California. There was something so amusing about being in the hub of it all that bursts with passion and artistry wherever you look. After a trip to LA when I was a sophomore in high school for dance, I fell even more in love with this utopia of a city and from that moment on, Los Angeles was that light at the end of the tunnel.

Now it is important to note that when I say I was in love, I truly mean I… was in love. My grandmother for my sixteenth birthday got me a ring with the coordinates of Los Angeles on it and you bet I wore that ring every day. My Facebook password you may ask? “BelieveLA” (don’t worry I changed it so don’t try hacking xo). I mean, my legitimate background on my phone for years was a photo of the cross street sign of Via Rodeo and North Rodeo Drive. Los Angeles to me was kind of like that boy who you admire from afar and have to continuously work up the courage to go for.

 

Well, after years of hard work and building up that courage it finally happened. I landed an internship at a company I admired for most of my life and I was ready to finally show Los Angeles what Sydney Rose Weltman has to offer.

Fast forward to a month of work and exploring the city under my belt, I decided to take some time to self reflect on my life thus far and the experiences I partook in. With that being said and all the emotions I endured, I thought of all the things I wish I knew before making this long-awaited trek. So here it is for you: Sydney’s Declassified Los Angeles Survival Guide:

1. Moving is scary. Whether that is across the country or twenty minutes away, it is okay to show emotion.

This is something I struggled with leading up to my flight out to Los Angeles. I was scared out of my mind. I was going to a new state where I knew next to no one. All I had were overpacked suitcases filled with clothing and shoes, bedding in a box from Bed Bath & Beyond, and a passion for what I was about to do, yet for some reason, I did not want anyone to know how I was truly feeling. The thought of “This is my dream how can I be scared?” was drilled into my brain, but let me tell you, get those emotions out before you land wherever you may be going. Trust me, this will help you in the long run.

2. Hobbies are important. Keep them in your life no matter how near or far you may be from home.

Not only are hobbies something that will allow you to distract yourself from stressful situations, but it will give you a chunk of comfort. One of the best pieces of advice I learned in my time out here was to keep your hobbies close to your heart because it will allow you to feel as if you belong even if at that moment you do not.

3. Do not, and I mean DO NOT, be afraid to ask for help.

Having an A++++ personality as my mom likes to say can be difficult when it comes to reaching out for help because your ego does not allow you to, but reach out to that family friend who you haven’t talked to in years or that alumnus your professor told you about. You never know who knows who and although this city seems big from the outside at times it can be very small.

4. Spend some time alone.

This is hard and awkward, but I believe that every twenty-something-year-old should do it. Going to a restaurant and asking for a table for one may stir up the butterflies in your stomach, but it is time you do some self-reflecting and be dependent on yourself. Sitting in a restaurant or doing an activity alone will make you want to crawl inside your own skin, but in the long run, it is all part of growing up.

 

5. “Know your worth, add tax, and don’t forget the agency fee”

I saw this quote in an Instagram bio and enough said. Do your work, remember you are an intern, not a CEO, but also remember there is a line that should not be crossed.

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My Ex Taught Me I Deserve So Much More

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Tell yourself that you deserve better and move on

I have always been so hell-bent on finding myself a perfect country boy, who had that southern accent and love hunting and fishing, and who loved country music as much as I did. But, altogether, I was completely wrong. I was wrong all along.

The perfect country boy, or the perfect guy in general, doesn’t exist.

Everyone has flaws.

When I applied to join Odyssey two years ago, one of the questions I was asked was “what don’t you ever want to write about?”

I said boys. When you’re scrolling through social media, so many articles pop up like boyfriends, heartbreaks, and exes, and I didn’t want to write just another article someone scrolls by on their Facebook feed…

But here I am writing an article on guys.

I started dating a guy when I moved to Florida who had everything I wanted — he loved country music, he fished, he hunted, he had an accent — but at the end of the day, he couldn’t treat me right. I’m not going to go into all the details, the only thing I wish for him is the absolute best.

We gave each other endless chances, and we would break up, makeup, and get back together.

I couldn’t love him like he said he loved me. I know that people always say “you can’t love someone until you love yourself.” Even though I’m not completely happy with myself, I just didn’t think the love was possible in this case.

I let myself believe that he was everything I had ever wanted, but I was blinded.

I spent my whole winter break back home with my family completely stressing if he should get another chance or not. Even after he called me dumb, stupid, untrustworthy, and said that if I left him for good that I would never find anyone else.

I believed he was right, so of course, he got another chance. He got his fifth chance, and now I know I’m actually done. I put my feelings out there and my insecurities on the line to watch them go up in my face.

I don’t ever think I can settle down with a guy who doesn’t support any of my aspirations. I regret not trusting my family and friends, because I thought things would be different, but they never were. It’s OK though, I’m not sad or heartbroken, because at the end of the day I’m still young, I have a lot of time, and I have a lot of love to give.

I now know that I deserve mutual effort, someone who actually cares, someone who doesn’t say he loves me to guilt me into staying, someone who doesn’t care if I’m not wearing makeup, and someone who respects/supports my dreams and goals.

 

Most importantly I learned guys can’t change in the snap of a finger like they said they did. I learned that trying to find someone who meets everything you wanted, does nothing but set’s you up for heartbreak in the end. But it’s OK. You live, you learn, you make regrets, but you will always come down to what’s best for you.

 

“We all deserve the best endings, you just have to be patient.”

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