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How to pay off credit card debt quickly!

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How to pay off credit card debt quickly!
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Paying off credit card debt can seem overwhelming and overwhelming at times. The good news? You have started to accept the idea of ​​living without debt!

The challenge? Where to start! You have collected a great deal of credit card debt over years of living an uncontrolled financial lifestyle. What seemed like an innocent expense at the time, a coffee here or a night out at the movies there, ultimately added to a difficult place to be. Perhaps your credit card balances were maxed out or closed. It is entirely possible for your interest rates to rise to 20 percent or even more. In addition to the pain would be the penalties derived from the missing payments.

The unenviable process of borrowing from credit card debt and the potentially devastating consequences of lifestyles, to which many have often become extremely accustomed, can put great strain on health, relationships, and quality of life. lifetime.

To anyone who has found themselves struggling and struggling with credit card debt and tried, let alone succeeded, we salute you. We have helped thousands of consumers break through the chains of heavy credit cards and other unsecured debt and have witnessed countless stories of success along the way. One thing is for sure, usually, when there is a will there is a way, and while it won’t be easy, rest assured that winning the fight will bring such sweet and rewarding relief that it will make all the efforts worthwhile!

This guide to beating and overcoming credit card debt has been designed to help you as motivation or future reference as you meet the challenge head-on.

TAKE FULL OWNERSHIP OF YOUR DEBT

Don’t underestimate the power of looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for something you can change. Credit card debt, and the way it tends to slowly spiral out of control, almost always starts with bad choices, and that’s okay. It happens to thousands, if not millions of people around the world every year. The most important thing to keep in mind is that when something goes wrong and produces poor results, you can actually improve it by choosing a different and healthier approach.

While this lesson can be applied to many different facets of life, it is extremely relevant to successful credit card debt removal. Rising credit card debt actually became a problem when the first statement came in and you couldn’t pay it in full. Credit cards, when used responsibly and for a purpose, can be a good thing. The caveat is that the balance owed should never have been delayed beyond the first payment due, even in cases where a hefty zero percent interest rate is offered for several months, as that ultimately delays the inevitable for many. persons.

It may sound tough, but we firmly believe that taking full responsibility and ownership of your credit card debt will get you off on a positive footing. Considering how many negative feelings and ultimately the overall negative lifestyle impact that comes with overwhelming credit card debt, taking the initial sting of accepting responsibility early on will make your way toward a debt-free life is considerably smoother.

 

LIVE BY A BUDGET

As Money Fit Education Administrator Todd R. Christensen routinely reminds attendees of the personal-finance workshops he presents, budgeting is for anyone who wants to not only stabilize their finances but also anyone who wants to avoid it altogether. debt-related problems.

Developing and living on a family budget isn’t just about balancing a checkbook. It’s about being prepared for all expenses, including items like car repairs, a trip to the dentists, and more. Strong budgets take into account financial goals and priorities, track actual spending down to the last penny, and help you identify where you have unnecessary spending.

With a budget you live with, you’ll be armed with your actual spending history and will most likely find extra dollars to help pay off your credit card debt. If you find an extra $ 20 per month, which would generally be low, you can apply it to your debt and speed up the payment process. Budgets are beneficial to everyone because of the extremely valuable information they apply and the stability they can provide, as well as the funds released that may have remained hidden.

 

SETTING GOALS: SMART

If you want to make real progress, you will need to set financial goals. With the right kind of financial goals, you will feel comfortable and confident in your progress. However, if you don’t have a solid plan, a goal is just a dream. That’s why we recommend SMART goals.

You may have heard of SMART goals. While there is a traditional version of SMART goals that is taught around the world, the following is a modified version: specific, meaningful, achievable, rewarding, and timely. Let’s follow these steps to create powerful personal finance goals.

S pecific: Write down what you want to do, buy or achieve. Include details that answer questions like “Who is involved?” and “Where is this activity or product?”

M eaningful – A goal must be important to you. It could be a beach vacation, a picnic in the mountains, or a set of new tires for your car. If it is important to you, it will be motivating and you are more likely to stick with it.

A ttainable: Keep the amount of money required for this modest goal, which generally requires $ 1,000 or less. If the amount becomes much more than that, you are less likely to see it as a realistic goal.

R ewarding (Rewarding): Imagine achieving the goal. Write down a few words or phrases that you think will describe how you will feel. You can write something like, “I finally feel like a burden is lifted off my to-do list when I remove this goal.” Give this step a little time. Consider why you want to achieve this and explain it.

T Emily (Oportuna): Enter the month and year you want to achieve this goal. Writing “six months from now” is not enough. Every time you see the goal in the future, it will still tell you that you have another six months. That’s not good enough. Write down the month and year you want to achieve the goal and make sure there are no more than twelve months to go. Beyond twelve months, for most of us, time becomes too long. It becomes too easy to see as long as “long”. When you keep the deadline short, you are more likely to go to work immediately.

Try to use the SMART method when setting your financial goals. You’ll probably be glad you did!

 

AVOID EQUITY LINES IN-HOME CREDIT OR DEBT CONSOLIDATION LOANS

In one go, you could eliminate all of your unsecured credit card debt. Gone would be the worries of having multiple payments, cards that charge high rates and fees, or both. On initial consideration, this may seem very tempting, but as we’ll explain, HELOC (Home Equity Line of Credit) or Debt Consolidation Loans can cause enormous financial stress in the long run.

Consider this, if you swap your unsecured credit card debt for a line of credit attached to your home equity, you’re essentially betting that you won’t have a problem with repayment, putting your home as collateral. The worst-case scenario would be that you lose your home because you took on unsecured debt and secured it with your home.

Money Fit advocates for and provides debt consolidation to people in need. We do not promote the use of debt consolidation loans. At first glance, debt consolidation is the act of consolidating multiple debts into one payment. This can be an effective strategy when done without a loan. Once you take out a large loan to pay off multiple small loans, there is a massive risk of running your initial credit card debt right where it was, only now you have to deal with a large debt consolidation loan. If you haven’t remedied the source, which is generally bad spending habits, and you’re still on a debt consolidation loan, you should avoid using your newly paid credit cards at all costs.

 

CUT YOUR CREDIT CARDS

A powerful and symbolic approach to dealing with credit card debt is to start by cutting it off and removing your access to use it. It can be a difficult step to take, but once the cord is cut, you can begin to depend on the cash you have from your income. No more loans and payments more than necessary. No more staying in a vicious cycle that repeats itself constantly; charge, pay the minimum, charge, pay the minimum, charge, pay the minimum and never have an impact on the balance of the cards.

You have already accepted responsibility for runaway credit card debt. Now, in a defiant display of power, he has cut credit cards and made himself enormously strong. When you wage war on credit card debt, you effectively agree to never trust it again. You will not need the plastic when you arrive at your destination debt-free.

 

START SELLING BY SELLING UNUSED OR NON-NEEDED ASSETS

Take a look, maybe you have things that you no longer use or need that you could sell and apply to your credit card debt? Maybe you could hold a garage sale or sell online? You might be surprised how some of your items that you no longer need or use would be worth to someone else.

Doing this can give you a good lump sum to apply to your credit card debt and provide a next-level boost when starting your repayment.

On a side note: don’t touch investment dollars like retirement accounts to pay off your credit card debt unless you talk to an investment planner and possibly consider a 401k loan that allows you to pay interest yourself. While it can be tempting to eliminate a good chunk of debt right away, you should proceed with caution, especially when it comes to your retirement financing. Selling a 401k could cause problems due to the IRS imposing early withdrawal penalties, not to mention falling short when it comes time to retire.

 

PAY THE SMALLEST DEBT FIRST (SNOWBALL METHOD)

The debt snowball method, which aims to attack the smallest balanced credit cards first and then apply that payment to the next card in line, is a preferred method of repayment for people managing their card debt. credit on your own. The snowball method, while potentially a bit more expensive than the alternative debt avalanche method (attack higher interest rate accounts first) provides an extremely important component of motivation to pay off credit cards.

Psychologically it can be very important to see progress when we embark on a mission as challenging as paying with credit cards. Smaller rewards, like removing the first card off the list, can provide a great charge of positive energy and the motivation to keep pushing.

Debt management plans, such as the program offered by Money Fit through the organization’s nonprofit credit counseling services, tend to combine strategies and often attack the highest interest rate payments first. However, the person who relies on the debt management plan is often more concerned that balances are going down overall and not as much of a need to see the progress of the individual account as those who are paying on their own.

MICROPAYMENT MATTER: MIX THE SNOWFLAKE METHOD WITH THE SNOWBALL METHOD IF POSSIBLE

In order for the snowball method to take off and eliminate the debt at a faster rate, we recommend mixing it with what has been coined as the snowflake method. It is not an alternative to the snowball method because it still depends on attacking the smallest balance first until it is removed.

Because interest rates are calculated using an average daily balance formula, you can save money on interest by paying as soon as extra money is available.

Here’s a hypothetical situation, let’s say that during your budget you see that you are wasting a considerable amount of money each month buying a large specialized mocha on the way to work each morning. Instead of spending $ 5.00 on coffee, you would make a one-time payment to your credit card with the lowest balance. Do it 5 times a week and that’s an extra $ 25 that week for that card.

Some might think, why not wait until the end of the week and submit the $ 25 payment? Or wait until the end of the month and pay an additional $ 100 on the card? There are two reasons to send the payment as soon as the money is not spent. First, once the money is sent to the creditor, it cannot be spent. Effectively close any reason for not having it available at the end of the week or at the end of the month. Second, interest rates are calculated using an average daily balance formula. You can save money on interest by paying as soon as the money is available.

If you keep those payments smaller, you will eventually get out of debt sooner and the effort will be well rewarded. You will have to stay exceptionally motivated to pull it off, but get into a routine and it won’t be a problem.

 

FIND ADDITIONAL SOURCES OF INCOME

At the end of the day, after the entire budget is completed and plans are made, your current income may not allow you to meet your credit card payment obligations quickly enough. To expedite the postponement, you may consider finding a part-time job, a weekend job, or even working from home in your spare time.

If you are in a one-job home where a partner stays at home, maybe they can help you in the short term?

It doesn’t sound nice, but at the end of the day, the added income could be extremely rewarding. The ultimate goal is to give up the burden of debt for the rest of your life. It can be difficult to visualize, especially if you’ve struggled to make minimum payments for a considerable period of time, but it’s worth it. The freedom you will gain to really start living life on your own terms will be worth the sacrifice in the short term and could open doors you thought were closed, such as being able to travel or even start your own business. Maybe you want to help a child in college? The opportunities become almost endless.

 

STAY RESILIENT, FIND A MOTIVATIONAL SOURCE AND ADD ON THE

It sounds simple enough, but the truth is that time has a menacing way of removing the immediacy or urgency of things. That can be a blessing at times, but it can also be a hindrance. When you take on the task of paying off your credit card debt, you want to be vigilant at all times. You won’t be perfect and you shouldn’t expect to be, but you always want to keep an eye out for the prize.

Find a source of inspiration and, of course, use it. Maybe you’re following a personal finance expert like Money Fit author and educational manager Todd R. Christensen? Maybe it’s as simple as keeping a photo of your loved ones close by and using it as motivation when the going gets tough? Regardless of what you wear, know that you are not alone and that you can surround yourself with positivity and encouragement. Debt is no longer as taboo a topic as it once was. People have learned that supporting each other is good for everyone in the long run. Don’t fear judgment. You are the one with financial freedom and overall peace of mind on the line.

Once your payment plan begins, we recommend that you do not look back unless it is a reminder of what not to do if you sense that you are falling into old habits. You know what got you into this mess, there’s no reason to beat you up for it. Keep your mind and your goals forward-thinking and the sky really will be the limit.

You have our best wishes as you embark on your journey. In assuming your debt, we invite you to use Money Fit as a resource, regardless of whether you are a customer or not. As a non-profit organization with over 20 years helping consumers live debt-free, we have made it our mission to help each individual conquer their debt by providing educational resources and encouragement.

If the prospect of paying your debt on your own is daunting and you want to be considered for inclusion in our debt management program, we invite you to provide your information online so that one of our certified credit counselors can get in touch, or you can call us toll-free during normal business hours to schedule your free consultation.

 

Bankruptcy as a Last Resort

As we address the issue of paying off your credit card debt, we want to make sure we address your bankruptcy filing. Our goal is to help people overcome their financial problems by repaying their debt in full (which is why we do not recommend debt settlement as an option) so that they can protect and build their credit score. Over the course of a person’s life, a positive credit score can be extremely advantageous over a poor one.

That being said, there are reasons why bankruptcy is available. If you have not filed for bankruptcy in the last 8 years, you will need to speak with a highly qualified and qualified bankruptcy attorney. While Money Fit provides bankruptcy advice and debtor education, we are not attorneys and we do not provide legal advice. All information is provided for consumers to use for research as they seek to learn how to manage their debt and should not be construed or construed as legal advice.

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This Guardian: Protecting the Earth and its People

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The term “this guardian” can refer to many things, but in this article, we will focus on the role of this guardian as it pertains to the protection of the earth and its people. The earth and its inhabitants are facing numerous challenges, from climate change to pollution to overpopulation, and it is crucial that we have guardians in place to address these issues and safeguard our planet for future generations.

One of the key responsibilities of this guardian is to address the issue of climate change. The earth’s climate is changing at an alarming rate, with rising temperatures, sea levels, and extreme weather events all having devastating impacts on people and ecosystems around the world. This guardian works to mitigate the effects of climate change by reducing greenhouse gas emissions, promoting renewable energy, and protecting vulnerable communities.

Another important responsibility of this guardian is to address pollution and protect the earth’s natural resources. The earth is facing a wide range of environmental challenges, from plastic pollution in our oceans to deforestation to the loss of biodiversity. This guardian works to combat these issues by implementing regulations and policies that limit pollution and protect the earth’s natural resources. They also work to educate the public on the importance of protecting the environment and how they can do their part.

In addition to protecting the earth’s environment, this guardian also works to protect the rights and well-being of its people. This includes addressing issues such as poverty, inequality, and human rights abuses. This guardian works to ensure that everyone has access to the resources and opportunities they need to live a fulfilling life and that the most vulnerable members of society are not left behind.

In conclusion, this guardian plays a crucial role in protecting the earth and its people. They work to address the challenges of climate change, pollution, and environmental degradation, as well as to promote social justice and human rights. We must all be aware of this guardian’s actions and support their efforts in order to ensure a sustainable future for all.

More Read : theguardian
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Florida woman, 36, jailed at 15 for grisly murder now lives high life after being freed

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Florida woman, 36, jailed at 15 for grisly murder now lives high life after being freed
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Together they beat, tortured and burned Air Force veteran Cordell Richards to within an inch of his life before returning the next day to finish him off with a meat cleaver.

But while Ronald Bell and Kristel Maestas will likely die behind bars for the ‘unspeakable’ slaying, the third member of their evil trio is enjoying a comfortable middle-class life in a Florida suburb, DailyMail.com can reveal.

Minister’s son Bell and former girlfriend Maestas were aged 17 and 16 respectively when they kidnapped and butchered Richards in the Panhandle city of Fort Walton Beach in February 1999.

Accomplice Renee Lincks – tied father-of-two Richards to a tree and took turns in battering him with a baseball bat – at the age of 15.

But while the older teens were convicted of first-degree murder and jailed for life, Lincks was able to plead no contest to charges of manslaughter and false imprisonment in return for testifying against them.

The maximum sentence was 15 years and Lincks would ultimately serve just 12 in a medium-security prison.

 

Renee Lincks, 36, was sentenced to 15 years in prison for the murder of Air Force veteran Cordell Richards when she was 15 and was released in 2012 at age 28

 

Renee Lincks, 36, was sentenced to 15 years in prison for the 1999  murder of Air Force veteran Cordell Richards when she was 15 and was released in 2012 at age 28

Since being released from prison, Lincks lives a comfortable lifestyle in Florida, pictured here last week shopping at Ross where she purchased dog treats and home goods

 

Since being released from prison, Lincks lives a comfortable lifestyle in Florida, pictured here last week shopping at Ross where she purchased dog treats and home goods

The tattooed felon has built a new life in Homestead, south of Miami, where she recently purchased her first home with a female partner (the couple are pictured together)

 

The tattooed felon has built a new life in Homestead, south of Miami, where she recently purchased her first home with a female partner (the couple are pictured together)

The badly decomposed body of 31-year-old Cordell Richards was found burned and tied to a tree in a secluded area near Fort Walton Beach, Florida in March 1999

 

The badly decomposed body of 31-year-old Cordell Richards was found burned and tied to a tree in a secluded area near Fort Walton Beach, Florida in March 1999

Now in their 30s, Bell and Maestas, appeared in court last week to appeal their sentences under a Supreme Court ruling that said mandatory life without parole for juveniles was unconstitutional.

A judge dashed their hopes of release by upholding both life terms – but the same cannot be said of Lincks who was freed in 2012, aged 28.

DailyMail.com can reveal that the tattooed felon has since built a fun new life in Homestead, south of Miami, where she recently purchased her first home with a female partner.

Her carefree lifestyle is laid bare in social media posts which show her partying with girlfriends, sipping drinks by a pool and dressing dogs up in Christmas outfits.

When DailyMail.com approached the now 36-year-old this week to speak about the case Lincks refused to discuss her dark past. ‘How did you know my name?’ she snapped at our reporter. ‘I’m not going to answer any of your questions.’

Richards’ family understood the need for a plea deal in the original 2000 prosecution and regarded it as a necessary evil to secure damning testimony against two of the three. But they have always felt Lincks was integral to the killing – and should also be locked up for life.

‘Without a doubt in my mind, she should still be behind bars,’ the slain Airman’s youngest daughter Rei Richards, 24, told DailyMail.com.

‘Renee Lincks was a very active part of the process – she is just as much of a monster as the rest of them are.’

Lincks' carefree lifestyle is laid bare in social media posts which show her partying with friends

 

Lincks’ carefree lifestyle is laid bare in social media posts which show her partying with friends

 

A year after she was released from prison in 2012, Lincks (center) was sipping drinks by a pool with her girlfriends

This is the woman (left) that Lincks is living with in Homestead, Florida, after only serving 12 years behind bars for the murder of the Air Force veteran

 

This is the woman (left) that Lincks is living with in Homestead, Florida, after only serving 12 years behind bars for the murder of the Air Force veteran

 

Renee Lincks and her female partner purchased this three bedroom, two bath 1,483 square-foot home Homestead, Florida for $205,000 in 2018

In a grim irony, the Ford F150 truck she drives has a large decal on the back window paying tribute to fallen US servicemen

 

In a grim irony, the Ford F150 truck she drives has a large decal on the back window paying tribute to fallen US servicemen

Lincks took a break from her manual labor job to have lunch at Long John Silvers in Florida last week

 

Lincks took a break from her manual labor job to have lunch at Long John Silvers in Florida last week

Links, Maestas and Bell had never met Richards until Maestas was kicked out by her parents in early 1999 and responded to his newspaper ad for a room for rent.

Within weeks of moving in she alleged to Bell, her besotted boyfriend of several months, that Richards had made unwanted sexual advances towards her and Lincks.

More Read:  Visit

Cordell’s daughter Rei Richards, 24, told DailyMail.com, ‘Without a doubt in my mind, she should still be behind bars’

On the evening of February 2, 1999, Bell confronted Richards inside his apartment, chocking him unconscious and clubbing him with a baseball bat. Bell, Maestas and Lincks then together tied Richards up and rolled him in a blanket before driving him to secluded woodland.

For the next two days they kept the helpless veteran chained to a tree and subjected him to what the judge at the original murder trial described as ‘unspeakable horror’.

The trio first took turns to hit Richards with the bat, with Bell complaining the girls weren’t striking him hard enough and proclaiming himself ‘Babe Ruth’ as he viciously slugged his victim.

More Read:  Visit

Then, as Richards begged for his life Bell poured lighter fuel over him. Maestas set him alight.

The three ran off into the night but when they returned the next morning to check that Richards was dead, they found him clinging to life and calling faintly for help.

According to Lincks’ testimony, Bell attempted to snap Richards’ neck but failed. He and Lincks then drove to a nearby Target to buy duct tape and a meat cleaver which Bell used to cut Richards’ throat.

They even took the murder weapon back to the store afterwards to claim a refund, according to reports from the time. Bell and Maestas would return to the scene one last time a week later, this time to burn Richards’ corpse and cover their tracks.

More Read:  Visit

The warped trio might have succeeded had a 12-year-old boy not stumbled across the charred remains on March 4.

While the body was damaged beyond recognition, forensics experts were able to retrieve a single fingerprint from a thumb which they eventually matched to Richards’ military records.

By then the doting dad had been missing a month, his family growing increasingly concerned when he failed to show up at Rei’s fourth birthday party.

An autopsy would reveal the shocking extent of the torture, with Richards found to have suffered multiple fractures to his head, shoulder, sternum, ribs, arms and wrist.

More Read:  Visit

Bell was originally sentenced to death but in 2002 the Florida Supreme Court overturned the ruling because the judge had not taken sufficient account of his age at the time of the killing.

Prosecutors did not seek the death penalty against Maestas because she was only 16. She was instead handed a life sentence.

More Read:  Visit

 

Kristel Maestas was 16 at the time of Cordell Richard’s murder, who was her landlord. She was re-sentenced to life in prison in Florida last week

 

More Read:  Visit

Ronald Bell was 17 when he murdered Cordell Richards after his then-girlfriend Maestas claimed Richards had made a pass at her. He and Maestas had become eligible for re-sentencing after the Supreme Court ruled in 2015 that juveniles couldn’t be sentenced to life without parole

More Read:  Visit

 

Renee Lincks is pictured in court as a teen accused of tying the father-of-two to a tree and taking turns in battering him with a baseball bat before setting him on fire

 

Surveillance footage shows the deadly trio purchasing the meat cleaver that was used to cut Cordell Richard’s throat in 1999

Lincks was never charged with murder because she gave testimony stating that Bell and Maestas plotted the killing and bought the rope and chain beforehand.

However portions of her account were later contested by Maestas, who decided to give testimony post-sentence in an attempt to win favor in any future clemency petition.

More Read:  Visit

She stated that Lincks had demanded PIN numbers from Richards while he was being beaten – and that she was the first to suggest burning him alive.

Maestas also said that when Bell cut Richards’ throat, Lincks quizzed him as to whether he had cut deep enough.

Public records state that Lincks was released from prison on February 1, 2012 and there is nothing to suggest she has ever reoffended.

A Facebook post taken one year later showed her hanging out poolside with a group of girlfriends, drinking beer and liquor.

More Read:  Visit

In recent years she appears to have settled down with a female partner with whom she jointly bought a three-bedroom family home last June for $205,000.

The 5ft 3in former offender now works for a maintenance company and shares her love of dogs on social media.

In a grim irony, the Ford F150 truck she drives has a large decal on the back window paying tribute to fallen US servicemen.

‘The United States flag does not fly because the wind moves past it,’ the sign reads. ‘The United States flag flies from the last breath of each military member who has died protecting it.’

More Read:  Visit

Cordell Richard’s mother Ruby Richards and Cordell’s daughter Rei Richards embrace in court last week after the two killers were jailed for life

The re-sentencing of Bell and Maestas – who have spent more than half their lives behind bars – was ordered because of a 2012 US Supreme Court ruling that banned mandatory life-without-parole sentences.

The 5-4 decision gave thousands of juvenile lifers across the US a shot at release but Okaloosa County Circuit Court Judge William Stone slammed the cell door shut on the duo’s hopes of freedom.

Bell was re-sentenced to life in prison for first-degree murder and slapped with a consecutive life term for kidnapping with a weapon.

More Read:  expressdigest

Maestas, the only one of the trio who has ever contacted the Richards family to express remorse, will serve life plus 30 years consecutive for the kidnapping.

‘I know that a lot of people might want to look at this like it’s a celebration because they are behind bars and they are never coming out,’ Rei told DailyMail.com.

‘Yes, it feels good that justice has been done but this will always be a massive loss for us that we will never recover from. We lost a father, a son, a brother.

‘I’m never going to have my father walk me down the aisle, I’m never going to get to introduce him to his grandchildren. Having them behind bars will never give me back my dad.’

More Read:  expressdigest

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Can’t choose your family at Christmas?

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Can’t choose your family at Christmas
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Those rejected by their loved ones would disagree

For some LGBTQ+ shunned by relatives, friends and community are rewriting what ‘family’ means

What is Christmas really about? In an increasingly diverse and secular Britain, the festive period has become a celebration of family for most of us. But that focus on traditional family – the people who are supposed to offer unconditional love, no matter who you are or what you do – is precisely what makes this time of year a source of anxiety and dread for others.

Parents rejecting their LGBTQ+ offspring might sound like a plotline from gritty films of the 1980s and 1990s, not something that happens in 2022, when even Hallmark is releasing its first same-sex Christmas romcom, and we’re more than 50 years on from the decriminalization of homosexuality. But research from the anti-abuse LGBQT+ charity Galop found that family rejection is still all too common: almost three in 10 LGBTQ+ people had experienced abuse from a family member, rising to more than four in 10 trans and non-binary people. In 60% of cases, they felt their identity was the main or contributing factor.

 

Christmas acts as a painful reminder for too many queer people that their families have failed to affirm them, or have rejected them altogether. Consider James, in Congleton, who won’t spend Christmas with his biological family, he tells me, “because they don’t support homosexuality – it’s not for religious reasons, they just don’t like the ‘concept’ (in their words)”. He would like to celebrate anyway, but surviving on paltry disability benefits amid a cost of living crisis, he can’t afford to decorate his cold flat, and he expects to eat a 49p pasty on Christmas Day. Solitude awaits at the toxic intersection between homophobia and social inequality.

 

For others, family has taken on a new meaning. Ben is a 27-year-old bisexual trans man who hasn’t spent Christmas with his biological family for the last eight years. Ben feels his mother was radicalised by Britain’s increasingly assertive anti-trans movement, and when he was forced to return home from university for health reasons, “both her and my dad spent more or less every waking hour trying to convince me to ‘desist’. Essentially they were doing DIY conversion therapy every time they so much as spoke to me.” On his first Christmas away from them, he was taken in by a former family friend whose own adult child was in the process of transitioning, and who understood the trauma of rejection. “In the first two nights I was there,” he tells me, “they showed more care for my wellbeing and interest in getting to know me as a whole person than my parents had shown me since childhood.” He’s now surrounded by a “chosen family” who offer a “joyous Christmas” – some orphans, some with problematic relationships with their own parents – and who make sure no one is alone in the festive period.

 

 

Also, read the guardian

 

The expectation that the entire nation will be spending a day celebrating family love is what leaves those without it so miserable. But as Allmark puts it: “It can be a brave step to stop fighting for your family’s love. If they don’t give you the love you deserve, it’s hard to walk away.” And he’s right: but that’s what makes other alternative loving networks so important. Giving up on your birth family is painful, but having one you’ve chosen yourself brings its own kind of joy.

Also, read the guardian

… we have a small favour to ask. Millions are turning to the Guardian for open, independent, quality news every day, and readers in 180 countries around the world now support us financially.

We believe everyone deserves access to information that’s grounded in science and truth, and analysis rooted in authority and integrity. That’s why we made a different choice: to keep our reporting open for all readers, regardless of where they live or what they can afford to pay. This means more people can be better informed, united, and inspired to take meaningful action.

Also, read the guardian

In these perilous times, a truth-seeking global news organisation like the Guardian is essential. We have no shareholders or billionaire owner, meaning our journalism is free from commercial and political influence – this makes us different. When it’s never been more important, our independence allows us to fearlessly investigate, challenge and expose those in power.

More read the guardian

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