Gaslighting in Female Friendships: How Does it Take Place?

Have you felt that the secret that you told just your best friend got public? Has your best friend been telling you about people who talk ill about you in college? Do you feel that your best friend is trying to be over-friendly with your partner or spouse? Well, if that is the case, may you have friends who gaslight.

 Gaslighting in female friendships is nothing but a relationship in which one female friend tries to manipulate the other to gain power and control. Gaslighting personalities are charming, witty people who challenge the sense of the reality of others so that others depend on them for knowing what is right. They manipulate to gain power and feel a sense of control over the other.  

 

Thus, gaslighting friendships are the ones in which there’s one friend gaslighting the other. For instance,  your gaslighting friend would convince you that you are nothing but the baggage of problems. Further, she will make you believe that no one likes you and that she is the one who knows everything. 

 

Accordingly, friends who gaslight keep manipulating and confusing you so that you go back to them to know and understand what is correct. 

 

Let’s understand how gaslighting in female friendships takes place. 

Traits of Friends Who Gaslight

1. They Gossip About You

A female friend gaslighting another female friend loves to gossip. For instance, the gaslighter friend might tell the other friend that people don’t like her speaking ill about her behind her back. 

 

She will mention people who dislike the friend who is being gaslighted. Thus, gaslighting friends live on gossip as this gives them a sense of power. 

 

2. Use Techniques Like Splitting and Triangulation

Much like gossiping, your female friend will try to pit you against others. This is done intentionally as friends who gaslight love to see you fight. Such a friend will cook up a story and try to say something about a third person that may trigger you and make you pick up a fight with that person. 

3. Share Special Bond With Your Partners 

Finding your female friend getting closer to your spouse or partner? Beware as you may have a friend gaslighting you. For instance, they can use this splitting technique with you and your partner so that you end up fighting with each other. 

 

 Likewise, they try to build a special relationship with your partners. She’ll be a good listener to what your partner says. Or try to understand what your partner likes or dislikes and try to get close. 

4. They Pit You Against Other People

Your Gaslighting friends love to see you fight with your spouse, partner, or other people. This is something that makes them feel powerful and gain control over you. 

 

They may even lie to you to see you fighting with others. For instance, they may tell a lie that your other friends doubt your business skills or that your partner dislikes the way you treat others. 

5. They Lack Attachment

Remember, your gaslighter friends do not have any love or affection for you. They are not seeking any true friendships. They are simply there to fulfill their need for power.  A gaslighting friendship is not a two-way relationship. 

 

Thus, with such gaslighter friends, you will always find that you are the one always giving. 

6. They Are Not Authentic

Don’t expect authenticity from friends who gaslight. You will find such female friends being very genuine, honest, authentic with you in the beginning. However, with time they will show you their real personality. Since gaslighters do not have clarity of their own personality, this authenticity is something that is bound to come your way. 

7. Are Master Manipulators 

Your gaslighting friends are charming, confident, witty, but they are master manipulators. They are really good at challenging your sense of reality to gain control over you. They will always try to confuse you so that you keep coming back to them to know what is correct. 

Given this, you must be wary of gaslighting in female friendships. However, gaslighters can be anywhere. Much like friends, you can find examples of gaslighting from parents, gaslighters at the workplace, and find people with BPD gaslighting.