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Difficulty finding a partner

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Difficulty finding a partner
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What is difficulty finding a partner?

Many people have great difficulty finding a partner. The human being is a social animal by nature, we have the innate need to be accompanied by other people and to establish social and emotional ties. This also applies to the emotional realm , which makes us have the need to love and be loved. Thus, although not all people have the same emotional needs, in general we tend to seek affection.

Having a partner is also an option that goes beyond purely emotional needs. It is to some extent a social convention, and sometimes even an instrumental solution; In this sense, couples that are formed for mere convenience are not uncommon, whether or not there is love between them. Many times these relationships are based on the fear of loneliness, economic convenience, or any other reason.

Thus, although there are exceptions, most people feel the need to establish a romantic relationship as a couple. This means that many times, when unable to find someone, some people may feel frustrated. Since this is such an intimate emotional realm, this situation can lead to great discomfort ; the inability to find a partner can be related, as a cause or consequence, to problems with self – esteem , insecurity, depression , etc.

Difficulty finding a partner is therefore a problem that affects more people than you think . There are many individuals who, in one way or another, are frustrated with the inability to find someone. However, many times this difficulty in finding a partner is due to attitudes that, consciously or unconsciously, these people develop.

For what reasons can I have difficulty finding a partner?

Paradoxically, in an increasingly interconnected world and in which we have greater facilities to meet and interact with all kinds of people, the difficulty of finding a partner is a more and more common problem. The question, therefore, does not lie in the number of people with whom we interact; It is more about how we develop those relationships, what kinds of attitudes we adopt in our social interactions.

Logically, a problem as complex as the difficulty of finding a partner does not have a single cause. There are many factors that can give rise to this situation, although they could be grouped into two broad categories. In the first place, we could identify behavioral problems, that is, related to how we behave; on the other hand, we would speak of a second category, that of emotional problems, referring to how we feel.

Behavioral problems

  • Not spending time: finding a partner, like everything in life, establishing a relationship requires time and effort. It is easy to say that you have difficulty finding a partner, if you do not dedicate a minimum of effort. Going out to meet people, or frequenting environments where making friends with single people, even if it seems obvious, is a first step; Of course, what is clear is that no partner is found if we stay locked in our room.
  • Lack of social skills: such as shyness or poor communication skills. An important part of seduction happens to show the world our best side; thus, those people who withdraw or avoid contact with others have a greater difficulty in finding a partner.
  • Having an intolerant or inflexible attitude: This is a more frequent problem than is commonly believed. Some people have no difficulty seducing, but are unable to accept potential partners for who they are. Thus, no one wants to be with a rigid partner who tells them what to do or how to act.
  • Have a distrustful attitude: either because of your own personality or because of previous experiences. Starting a relationship always means discovering what a person is like, and we can be right with our assumptions or not. Either way, it is an inescapable risk; If you think that everything will go wrong or that you are going to be cheated on, you may never be able to be in a relationship.
  • Having wrong beliefs about what love is: Sometimes we just have unrealistic expectations. It is not logical to expect your partner to be perfect, nor can you live in a state of continuous infatuation. Romantic relationships, like any human interaction, also involve disappointment and suffering, and you have to be mature enough to accept it.

Emotional problems

  • Low self-esteem: many times, the difficulty in finding a partner arises because we do not even feel worthy of it. It’s hard to find someone who loves you if you don’t love yourself first. In fact, many times people with low self-esteem look for individuals who do not value them as a partner; in this way, their personal self-image is reinforced.
  • Fears and insecurities:  they can be of all kinds. Fear of failure, deception, suffering, commitment or maturing and assuming responsibilities, for example. Either way, these thoughts only reinforce the need to isolate yourself from other people, for fear of being hurt. Starting a relationship is entering unfamiliar terrain, so it is imperative to overcome these fears.
  • Limiting beliefs: other times, we put the barriers to ourselves with our own mental schemes. Believing that we are too old to find a partner, feeling physically unattractive, or thinking that we bore people, are just some of the beliefs that we often impose on ourselves without realizing it.
  • Selfish love: Sometimes the desire to have a partner is driven solely by a need for personal satisfaction. Some people try with their partner to fill other gaps in their life, such as loneliness or sexuality. However, this is not a sincere love, moved by disinterested affection towards the other. These individuals often have short relationships and are abandoned.
  • Little tolerance for frustration: it occurs in those people who cannot bear that things do not turn out as they wish. This can happen as a result of a love disappointment , which is why they stop looking for a partner; or else as a consequence of the couple not acting as they wish, in which case they abandon it. Be that as it may, these individuals often have significant difficulties in finding a partner.

How do you know if the difficulty in finding a partner is becoming a problem?

All people are without a partner at one point or another in their life; Throughout the years, we go through different stages, sometimes alone and sometimes accompanied. Being without a partner is therefore normal and, for many people, even desired. The problem occurs when this circumstance makes us feel bad, suffer or lower our self-esteem.

Obviously, the need to not be alone is more pressing in some stages than in others; in youth or adulthood, for example, having a partner almost seems to be a social demand. In adolescence or old age, however, being single seems much more common. However, the truly critical factor is the need that each person feels to establish a romantic relationship.

In this sense, we would talk about how difficulty finding a partner can become a problem when a series of symptoms or negative behaviors are manifested, such as:

  • Depression: it is a frequent problem of people who want to have a relationship and do not get it. This often affects their mood, generating sadness and discomfort. When this situation continues for a long time, it can lead to authentic depressive states.
  • Insecurity: it is also one of the frequent consequences of difficulty finding a partner. This situation can lead to a loss of confidence in one’s own abilities, generating a distorted self-image. Thus, people in this situation are often perceived as less attractive, interesting, or charismatic.
  • Low self-esteem: it is closely related to the previous point, although it is more serious. While insecurity involves doubting yourself, low self-esteem could be defined as not loving yourself. This problem not only makes those who suffer from it suffer, but also aggravates the difficulty in finding a partner.

Are there different types of difficulty finding a partner?

As we have seen previously, the difficulty in finding a partner can be produced by multiple causes. However, there are interesting theories about this. A well-known author is the American Robert Dilts; It is one of the biggest drivers of Neuro Linguistic Programming . Although NLP has been accredited as lacking a scientific basis, some of its postulates are interesting.

Thus, according to Dilts, there are three types of limiting beliefs that can condition people in their search for a partner:

Hopeless beliefs

This type of belief is associated with the conviction that it is not possible to achieve a goal to which we aspire. The reasoning here would be that, although we fervently want to find a partner, this cannot be due to external factors; it would be the case, for example, of those cases in which we think that there are no attractive single people left, since they are all “caught”, or that “nobody wants to commit to serious relationships”.

The difficulty, therefore, is not so much in the lack of one’s own abilities but in elements alien to oneself. This leads people who think like this to give up before their time. Thus, from his point of view, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to find a partner; after all, this difficulty that “does not depend on me” and, consequently, cannot be avoided.

Impotence beliefs

The beliefs of impotence differ from the previous ones in that in this case they depend on oneself. In this case, there is an achievable goal but that “I am not able to achieve.” This means that “I am not skilled enough to achieve my goals”, or that “I am not good enough”.

This is closely related to insecurity, as the mindset is similar. People with these beliefs think that they do not find a partner for various reasons; An example of this would be to believe that you are not attractive enough, that you are fat, or you are too old. This produces a vicious cycle, as these people really seem more insecure and are less attractive to people.

Beliefs of lack of merit

Finally, these beliefs are related to low self-esteem, so they are very common. In this case, the limitation comes not from external or own reasons, but from feeling worthy of something good. Thus, the goal is achievable and it is believed to have the necessary skills to do so, but it is renounced to reach that goal because it is thought that “I do not deserve it.”

Although these types of beliefs are very common, they are difficult to detect since they do not usually manifest themselves openly. Those who have these thoughts believe that they will not find anyone, since they do not deserve to be loved. These are people who often think things like “I’m a fraud” or “I don’t deserve to be happy.”

How can you improve the difficulty of finding a partner?

Many times the fact of not finding a partner has an easy solution; For this, it may be enough simply to train and improve social skills , learning how to relate to other people. The first step in this sense is to meet people, from which you have to know how to choose appropriately. Once you have identified the right person, you just have to learn how to seduce, attract and keep them.

Curiously, the difficulty in finding a partner in most cases comes from one’s own limitations; Whether due to lack of skills or personal insecurity, it is a problem that can almost always be solved. Furthermore, this solution does not necessarily imply the need to find a partner. In fact, sometimes it can be better to stay without a relationship, but learn to control our emotions about it. Here, the key would be that the absence of a stable partner does not make us unhappy.

If you want to find a partner, it may be wise to seek professional advice from an experienced psychologist . This will help us to become aware of our beliefs, to improve our esteem and to work on personal skills. Little by little, we can improve our self-esteem and eliminate many of the insecurities that make it difficult for us to relate to others. In addition, the fear of rejection will be relativized , which is one of the elements that most conditions us when looking for someone with whom to establish a sentimental relationship.

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Having A ‘Talking Stage’ Proves Why Millennials Just Suck At Dating

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Because who actually “commits” in 2023?

As a millennial who is currently in college, I’ve noticed that dating isn’t how it used to be, like back in 1995. We are the generation that can’t live without our phones, are tech-savvy, and sadly, the ones who suck at dating.

This is not another bitter article because I “don’t have a man,” or I’m “jealous of what people have.” In fact, I am actually in a good place and I am speaking on behalf of what I’ve seen. I’m tired of my friends coming up to me crying because their “man-who-isn’t-really-their-man” isn’t acting right.

I’ve seen more friends with benefits and flings than relationships.

Maybe I’m different, but I can’t imagine just being around someone only to have sex. After a while, that gets extremely boring and if you have nothing else to offer, you just get “ghosted” instead of telling that person how you really feel.

See, in my opinion, that’s the problem with this generation. Sex is considered meaningless now and it is basically easy to get. With all of these dating apps swirling around, it’s almost impossible to avoid it. People would rather have meaningless sex than get to know a person and commit. It’s like every time the word “commitment” or “relationship” is brought up, that person runs away. But they’re so comfortable to have sex.

What really irritates me is that after two weeks, a lot of guys, in particular, get mad when a girl asks him to get rid of his “hoes” or “other girls he’s talking to,” but still expect a girl to drop their pants after talking to them for two hours.

That’s another thing too. Let’s talk about the “talking stage.”

So basically, by INFORMAL definition, the “talking stage” is basically when two people just TALK before dating. Did you make a face yet? Because that exists now.

But seriously, talking about WHAT honestly? Don’t you do that when you’re, I don’t know, DATING? And even during the talking stage, people still have sex, which makes no sense to me. You guys aren’t dating but you’re not dealing with anyone else. In fact, they’ll get mad when you’re hooking up with someone else. And when you start to catch feelings, it ends with “Oh, I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”

So what exactly are we doing then?

Wasting my time?

Imagine filling out a relationship status on a ballot or something and the options are “single,” “married,” “widowed,” or “we’re talking.” And no, that’s not what “it’s complicated” is for.

It’s sad because I feel as if this generation forgot how to love again. There are many people who are currently in relationships who are lucky. But for the rest of this generation, people would rather bang it out then talk it out. And people would rather “talk” than “date.” I mean, what’s wrong with both? If you’re happy with what you are doing, then do whatever you want girl! If you are in this situation and you’re unhappy, then what exactly do you want?

Attention is nice, but after a while, if that person isn’t really fulfilling your needs, what’s the point of being with them then?

 

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Shillong Teer Hit Number

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Are you looking for Shillong teer counter hit number today? If so, you will surely find the accurate Shillong teer association hitt number provide by the Shillong association. Shillong Teer HIT number, Shillong Teer Counter Hit Number and Shillong Teer common number are same. The Shillong teer counter will analyze the hitt number every day. We will share the common counter hitt number of the Shillong association on this page everyday. This city Shillong is located in the northeast part of India.

Shillong Teer counter hitt number is calculated based on the mathematical formula. The Shillong association hitt number is calculated with the help of old or previous Teer result data.

You can check below given numbers to find the approximate winning number of Shillong Teer hitt number by its association.

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Love Island SPOILER: The singletons couple up as Maya Jama welcomes them to the villa

Love Island kicks off for a new series of Monday nights, with the new singletons coupling up into the first five pairs.

Fans will see the ten singletons move into the luxury villa in South Africa, with the boys seen arriving first.

New host Maya Jama gets stuck in, questioning the five hunks on their love lives, before telling them the girls will soon be making their entrance to pick which boy they want to couple up with.

 

Here we go! Love Island kicks off for a new series of Monday nights, with the new singletons coupling up into the first five pairs

Shaq and Haris arrive together, before welcoming Will, then Ron, then Kai to their sun-drenched new home.

Maya invites the boys to gather at the fire pit and quizzes them on what they’re looking for.

 

 

New host: Fans will see the ten singletons move into the luxury villa in South Africa, with the boys seen arriving first before new host Maya Jama makes her entrance

 

New host: Fans will see the ten singletons move into the luxury villa in South Africa, with the boys seen arriving first before new host Maya Jama makes her entrance

Maya asks: ‘Is everyone excited, be honest, how many press ups did we do this morning?’ Shaq answers: ‘I’d say at least 75.’

Maya asks: ‘Shaq, have you got a type?’ He says: ‘Not specifically, I go for more personality and vibes but she’s definitely got to be funny, funny is top of my list, I love it.’

Kai adds: ‘I am looking for a wifey,’ while Haris reveals: ‘I’ve never been in a relationship’

 

 

First arrivals: Shaq and Haris arrive together, before welcoming Will, then Ron, then Kai to their sun-drenched new home

 

First arrivals: Shaq and Haris arrive together, before welcoming Will, then Ron, then Kai to their sun-drenched new home

Ron says: ‘For me it’s all about if they are nice girl.’

Meanwhile farmer Will tells Maya: ‘I wanna settle down, I think it’s time to bring a girl back, introduce them to the animals.’

Maya then declares: ‘I think I’ve found out enough, are you lot ready to meet some girls?’

 

 

Inviting the boys to stand before her by the pool Maya then says: ‘Well boys, it is time to couple up, the girls will come in one by one and I’ll ask you to step forward if you fancy them.’

Grand entrance: As they're getting to know each other, Love Island's new host Maya Jama makes her entrance after an epic arrival by helicopter

 

Grand entrance: As they’re getting to know each other, Love Island’s new host Maya Jama makes her entrance after an epic arrival by helicopter

Getting the gossip: Maya invites the boys to gather at the fire pit and quizzes them on what they're looking for

 

Getting the gossip: Maya invites the boys to gather at the fire pit and quizzes them on what they’re looking for

Getting stuck in: Maya asks: 'Is everyone excited, be honest, how many press ups did we do this morning?'

 

Getting stuck in: Maya asks: ‘Is everyone excited, be honest, how many press ups did we do this morning?’

 

 

The big moment: Inviting the boys to stand before her by the pool Maya then says: 'Well boys, it is time to couple up

 

The big moment: Inviting the boys to stand before her by the pool Maya then says: ‘Well boys, it is time to couple up

‘Each girl will then decide which boy she wants to couple up with. It’s that simple. So who’s ready to meet our first girl?’

One by one Tanya, Anna-May, Lana, Olivia and Tanyel make their entrance into the Villa.

As the first coupling of the series gets underway, it’s time to see which boys the girls pick and whether they will step on each other’s toes to couple up with the boy they fancy the most.

Here come the girls: One by one Tanya, Anna-May, Lana, Olivia and Tanyel make their entrance into the Villa

 

As the first coupling of the series gets underway, it's time to see which boys the girls pick

 

Here come the girls: One by one Tanya, Anna-May, Lana, Olivia and Tanyel make their entrance into the Villa

Ready for love: 'Each girl will then decide which boy she wants to couple up with' Maya tells the ten new singletons

 

Ready for love: ‘Each girl will then decide which boy she wants to couple up with’ Maya tells the ten new singletons

Making an impression: The girls are dressed in their most sizzling bikinis for their first meeting with the boys

 

Making an impression: The girls are dressed in their most sizzling bikinis for their first meeting with the boys

It's getting hot out here: Lana and Tanya are seen deciding on which boy to pick

 

It's getting hot out here: Lana and Tanya are seen deciding on which boy to pick

 

It’s getting hot out here: Lana and Tanya are seen deciding on which boy to pick

 

 

Gorgeous: Michelle Keegan body double Olivia looks stunning in a hot pink bikini

 

Gorgeous: Michelle Keegan body double Olivia looks stunning in a hot pink bikini

Once the couples are formed, Maya says: ‘We now have five lovely couples but will you stay together or will your heads be turned?’

As Maya makes her exit from the Villa, she says: ‘Don’t forget finding your perfect match is never that simple, trust me I know.’

 

 

As night falls and the Islanders get to know each other a little better, it’s not long before news that the public have been voting for the first bombshell reaches the freshly formed couples.

On the lookout for love: The boys are tasked with stepping forward if they fancy a girl

 

As the first coupling of the series gets underway, it's time to see which boys the girls pick and whether they will step on each other's toes

 

On the lookout for love: The boys are tasked with stepping forward if they fancy a girl

Sun's out guns out: The boys strip down to shorts for their big moment in the first recoupling of the new series

 

Sun’s out guns out: The boys strip down to shorts for their big moment in the first recoupling of the new series

Take your pick: With five hunky singletons to choose from, the girls are spoilt for choice

 

Take your pick: With five hunky singletons to choose from, the girls are spoilt for choice

 

Take your pick: With five hunky singletons to choose from, the girls are spoilt for choice

 

 

Home sweet home: The Islanders will be calling this sprawling villa in South Africa home

 

Home sweet home: The Islanders will be calling this sprawling villa in South Africa home

 

LOVE ISLAND 2023: MEET THE CONTESTANTS

 

Tanya Manhenga

Name: Tanya Manhenga

 

 

Age: 22

Location: Liverpool

Occupation: Student and model

Something not many people know about her: ‘I have Vitiligo, which is a skin pigmentation, you may not even notice it.’

 

 

‘It’s on my lip and I have a stripe on my hair. Not many people know that but I think it’s quite cute.’

‘I don’t care about covering it up all the time, I think it’s a vibe.’

 

Lana Jenkins

Name: Lana Jenkins

 

 

Age: 25

Location: Luton

Occupation: Makeup artist

Something not many people know about her: ‘In my work as a makeup artist I’ve worked with lots of celebrities.

 

 

‘Also, when I was 6-years-old I used to live in Spain and I was in an episode of Benidorm as an extra.’

Anna-May Robey

 

Anna-May Robey

Name: Anna-May Robey

Age: 20

Location: Swansea

Occupation: Payroll assistant

Something not many people know about her: ‘I went on a date once and I never saw him again.’

‘We went for food and shared a bottle of wine. As I was speaking to him he fell asleep!’

‘I had to clink his wine glass to wake him up.’

Tanyel Revan

 

Tanyel Revan

Name: Tanyel Revan

Age: 26

 Location: North London

Occupation: Hair stylist

Something not many people know about her: ‘My celebrity crush is Channing Tatum – I don’t like pretty boys, they give me the ‘ick’ because they always have a crap personality.’

‘Channing Tatum is handsome but not too pretty. He’s manly and he can dance.’

‘If a man can dance I’m in love with him straight away.’

Olivia Hawkins

 

Olivia Hawkins

Name: Olivia Hawkins

Age: 27

 Location: Brighton

Occupation: Ring girl and actress

Something not many people know about her: ‘I did a film with Jason Statham and had a nice 10-minute convo about life.’

‘I’ve been a ring girl for KSI, I played a waitress in James Bond with Daniel Craig and I’ve also been a body double for Michelle Keegan and Emma Watson.’

 

Kai Fagan

 Name: Kai Fagan

Age: 24

Location: Manchester

Occupation: Science and PE teacher

Something not many people know about him: ‘I’m a Jamaican citizen. Because of that I played rugby 7s for Jamaica.’

‘I play semi-professional rugby now for Burnage RFC.’

‘I’ve technically got three different degrees and went to three different unis.’

Ron Hall

 

Ron Hall

 Name: Ron Hall

Age: 25

Location: Essex

Occupation: Financial advisor

Something not many people know about him: ‘On meeting me, you’d never know I am blind in one eye.’

‘It was the result of a football injury when I was 8. I’ve got two different coloured eyes, one blue and one green.’

Will Young

 

Will Young

 Name: Will Young

Age: 23

Location: Buckinghamshire

Occupation: Farmer

Something not many people know about him: ‘Every night I light a candle and meditate for 20-25 minutes.’

‘A girl I was seeing told me to meditate, I tried it and loved it. I stopped seeing her and carried on meditating!

‘It’s a nice way to self reflect.’

Shaq Muhammad

 

Shaq Muhammad

Name: Shaq Muhammad

Age: 24

 Location: London

Occupation: Airport security officer

Something not many people know about her: ‘I’m a very emotional person. It can be a blessing and a curse.’

‘Every time I watch Dear John I cry.

That’s my favourite film. Any time I’m with someone and they say, ‘Let’s watch a romantic film’, I’m like, ‘How about Dear John, how does that sound?’

Haris Namani

 

Haris Namani

Name: Haris Namani

Age: 21

 Location: Doncaster

Occupation: TV salesman

Something not many people know about her: ‘I’ve never found love. I think this is the show that can help me.’

‘It’s the best opportunity for me to find the girl and find the right one. I’ve obviously not found the right one myself.’

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